I miss the feeling of writing in this blog.
I was going through my old posts and it's so cool because now I know exactly which day I bought my crease brush from mac and which days I went to GSA or not and how I felt about the drumline.
I would read a post and feel cold because I wrote it in december. I could almost smell the room I wrote it in!
am i the only one who gets that?
I definitely miss Brian Teng a lot...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
LJ crosspost
I've been thinking about a lot lately. And by lately I mean today.
Chronologically, I thought about Adira, my dream about Logan, and ultra-indie web magazine, The book Everything Is Illuminated, and the movie Blindness.
1. Adira
I've been in love with her since 7th grade. Maybe not always conciously, but enough to the point that if I see her, or anything or anyone that reminds me of her, my heart aches like a mofo. If she was mute, I'd still love her voice. If she was paralyzed, I'd still love the way she threw back her head when she laughs. If she was bald, I'd still love her hair. I have this burning desire to feel like I'm dying and hold her in my arms. I'd cross the street without a crosswalk for her. I'd do drugs for her. I'd climb a rock wall for her. I'd kill a spider for her. I'd probably do anything to get her to care about me the same way.
2. the Logan dream
I woke up after a crazy dream. For the past few nights I've been having these dreams where so much that I want is packed into them. I don't remember much from the other nights, but last night, it was that Logan and I were madly in love (maybe I got the love theme because I was thinking about Adira until I fell asleep?). We also had sex everywhere. And if it didn't happen in the dream, then I woke up thinking it had. In the shower, her house, my moms house, my dads house, in a car. And then we were lying in a car and there was an awkward silence, she said something about the superbowl, and I woke up. Sheesh. Just when I was getting over her, I go and have a dream like that. I should be upset that she didn't comment back for the past few weeks, but I wasn't angry, I just sort of ignored it. Whatever.
3. Indie webmag
I was lying in bed recalling that I never really found a review for cool edit pro 2.0, but I used it anyways. I thought about writing one and publishing it online, and then I thought maybe I'd review other things too, like indie artists, because frankly, the only people who are going to care about a music producing program thing would be indie artists. and then I thought I could make a bunch of pages on nice paper and decorate them, and then scan them to the computer, then put them on adobe, and then put up a link somewhere to download it, and then maybe make it a monthly thing. Then I thought I couldn't do it alone so I'd recruit other people. But then I was too lazy to get out of bed and go to the computer to see if anyone would make an indie web magazine with me. So I nixed the whole idea and decided that if anyone needed a cool edit pro 2.0 review, I'd just tell them it was okay.
4. Everything is Illuminated
I'd seen the movie and now I'm reading the book. The emotions are far too intense in that book, so I think it'd be impossible to read all in one sitting. Jonathan Safran Foer is a little bit of a literary genius because in the book Alex says that the other character's story can make him melancholy and distressed and angry and happy and illuminated all within a single passage and that's pretty much how I feel about it. Plus, he's an English pioneer because he can write as if he truly is a Ukrainian guy who recently learned English. It's absolutely fantastic and it makes me think of the language in a new way.
5. Blindness
They're making one of my favorite books into a movie. I can't say that I'm too excited because it's first and foremost Portuguese and I didn't hear any bit of a Portuguese accent in the trailer. But maybe I'll surprise myself and see it anyways.
Chronologically, I thought about Adira, my dream about Logan, and ultra-indie web magazine, The book Everything Is Illuminated, and the movie Blindness.
1. Adira
I've been in love with her since 7th grade. Maybe not always conciously, but enough to the point that if I see her, or anything or anyone that reminds me of her, my heart aches like a mofo. If she was mute, I'd still love her voice. If she was paralyzed, I'd still love the way she threw back her head when she laughs. If she was bald, I'd still love her hair. I have this burning desire to feel like I'm dying and hold her in my arms. I'd cross the street without a crosswalk for her. I'd do drugs for her. I'd climb a rock wall for her. I'd kill a spider for her. I'd probably do anything to get her to care about me the same way.
2. the Logan dream
I woke up after a crazy dream. For the past few nights I've been having these dreams where so much that I want is packed into them. I don't remember much from the other nights, but last night, it was that Logan and I were madly in love (maybe I got the love theme because I was thinking about Adira until I fell asleep?). We also had sex everywhere. And if it didn't happen in the dream, then I woke up thinking it had. In the shower, her house, my moms house, my dads house, in a car. And then we were lying in a car and there was an awkward silence, she said something about the superbowl, and I woke up. Sheesh. Just when I was getting over her, I go and have a dream like that. I should be upset that she didn't comment back for the past few weeks, but I wasn't angry, I just sort of ignored it. Whatever.
3. Indie webmag
I was lying in bed recalling that I never really found a review for cool edit pro 2.0, but I used it anyways. I thought about writing one and publishing it online, and then I thought maybe I'd review other things too, like indie artists, because frankly, the only people who are going to care about a music producing program thing would be indie artists. and then I thought I could make a bunch of pages on nice paper and decorate them, and then scan them to the computer, then put them on adobe, and then put up a link somewhere to download it, and then maybe make it a monthly thing. Then I thought I couldn't do it alone so I'd recruit other people. But then I was too lazy to get out of bed and go to the computer to see if anyone would make an indie web magazine with me. So I nixed the whole idea and decided that if anyone needed a cool edit pro 2.0 review, I'd just tell them it was okay.
4. Everything is Illuminated
I'd seen the movie and now I'm reading the book. The emotions are far too intense in that book, so I think it'd be impossible to read all in one sitting. Jonathan Safran Foer is a little bit of a literary genius because in the book Alex says that the other character's story can make him melancholy and distressed and angry and happy and illuminated all within a single passage and that's pretty much how I feel about it. Plus, he's an English pioneer because he can write as if he truly is a Ukrainian guy who recently learned English. It's absolutely fantastic and it makes me think of the language in a new way.
5. Blindness
They're making one of my favorite books into a movie. I can't say that I'm too excited because it's first and foremost Portuguese and I didn't hear any bit of a Portuguese accent in the trailer. But maybe I'll surprise myself and see it anyways.
Friday, July 11, 2008
JAB
So, I used to post here more than I post in my Livejournal, but I guess everything changed.
I like it here though. It's all so familiar.
But mostly I stopped by to say I missed you.
And that some things never change, because I caught myself saying "in other news" over at LJ but I changed it to "on a brighter note" because it didn't really feel right.
Blogger.
You fed my first blog addiction.
And for that I love you foreverevereverever. ever.
Though my posts may be sparse, none are without complete ardor.
And if you don't know what ardor means, go look it up in the dictionary that I (lovingly) added a few months ago to the sidebar.
I like it here though. It's all so familiar.
But mostly I stopped by to say I missed you.
And that some things never change, because I caught myself saying "in other news" over at LJ but I changed it to "on a brighter note" because it didn't really feel right.
Blogger.
You fed my first blog addiction.
And for that I love you foreverevereverever. ever.
Though my posts may be sparse, none are without complete ardor.
And if you don't know what ardor means, go look it up in the dictionary that I (lovingly) added a few months ago to the sidebar.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Chex mix.
EDIT: I had a list up of things that pissed me off about someone, but I don't know what got into me. So I got rid of it.
Torie's sister is in labor.
For all I know, Ethan could be born now, actually.
I'd like to know.
I miss M.U.N.
You can read my... soliloquy on my livejournal.
I want LaHonda, CGB, and Y&G MLC to get here now.
Torie's sister is in labor.
For all I know, Ethan could be born now, actually.
I'd like to know.
I miss M.U.N.
You can read my... soliloquy on my livejournal.
I want LaHonda, CGB, and Y&G MLC to get here now.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
goodnight moon.
I have so much to say but no way to say it.
a friend of mine was so fucking stupid last night, she nearly died.
It took me a while to decide if I'm glad she's alive or pissed at her for being DELIBERATELY stupid.
Jesus.
sometimes I regret not being corrupted, but it's times like now I'm glad I'm fucking sober.
I keep running the story through my head and knowing how different it would be if I was there just kills me.
a friend of mine was so fucking stupid last night, she nearly died.
It took me a while to decide if I'm glad she's alive or pissed at her for being DELIBERATELY stupid.
Jesus.
sometimes I regret not being corrupted, but it's times like now I'm glad I'm fucking sober.
I keep running the story through my head and knowing how different it would be if I was there just kills me.
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