I miss the feeling of writing in this blog.
I was going through my old posts and it's so cool because now I know exactly which day I bought my crease brush from mac and which days I went to GSA or not and how I felt about the drumline.
I would read a post and feel cold because I wrote it in december. I could almost smell the room I wrote it in!
am i the only one who gets that?
I definitely miss Brian Teng a lot...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
LJ crosspost
I've been thinking about a lot lately. And by lately I mean today.
Chronologically, I thought about Adira, my dream about Logan, and ultra-indie web magazine, The book Everything Is Illuminated, and the movie Blindness.
1. Adira
I've been in love with her since 7th grade. Maybe not always conciously, but enough to the point that if I see her, or anything or anyone that reminds me of her, my heart aches like a mofo. If she was mute, I'd still love her voice. If she was paralyzed, I'd still love the way she threw back her head when she laughs. If she was bald, I'd still love her hair. I have this burning desire to feel like I'm dying and hold her in my arms. I'd cross the street without a crosswalk for her. I'd do drugs for her. I'd climb a rock wall for her. I'd kill a spider for her. I'd probably do anything to get her to care about me the same way.
2. the Logan dream
I woke up after a crazy dream. For the past few nights I've been having these dreams where so much that I want is packed into them. I don't remember much from the other nights, but last night, it was that Logan and I were madly in love (maybe I got the love theme because I was thinking about Adira until I fell asleep?). We also had sex everywhere. And if it didn't happen in the dream, then I woke up thinking it had. In the shower, her house, my moms house, my dads house, in a car. And then we were lying in a car and there was an awkward silence, she said something about the superbowl, and I woke up. Sheesh. Just when I was getting over her, I go and have a dream like that. I should be upset that she didn't comment back for the past few weeks, but I wasn't angry, I just sort of ignored it. Whatever.
3. Indie webmag
I was lying in bed recalling that I never really found a review for cool edit pro 2.0, but I used it anyways. I thought about writing one and publishing it online, and then I thought maybe I'd review other things too, like indie artists, because frankly, the only people who are going to care about a music producing program thing would be indie artists. and then I thought I could make a bunch of pages on nice paper and decorate them, and then scan them to the computer, then put them on adobe, and then put up a link somewhere to download it, and then maybe make it a monthly thing. Then I thought I couldn't do it alone so I'd recruit other people. But then I was too lazy to get out of bed and go to the computer to see if anyone would make an indie web magazine with me. So I nixed the whole idea and decided that if anyone needed a cool edit pro 2.0 review, I'd just tell them it was okay.
4. Everything is Illuminated
I'd seen the movie and now I'm reading the book. The emotions are far too intense in that book, so I think it'd be impossible to read all in one sitting. Jonathan Safran Foer is a little bit of a literary genius because in the book Alex says that the other character's story can make him melancholy and distressed and angry and happy and illuminated all within a single passage and that's pretty much how I feel about it. Plus, he's an English pioneer because he can write as if he truly is a Ukrainian guy who recently learned English. It's absolutely fantastic and it makes me think of the language in a new way.
5. Blindness
They're making one of my favorite books into a movie. I can't say that I'm too excited because it's first and foremost Portuguese and I didn't hear any bit of a Portuguese accent in the trailer. But maybe I'll surprise myself and see it anyways.
Chronologically, I thought about Adira, my dream about Logan, and ultra-indie web magazine, The book Everything Is Illuminated, and the movie Blindness.
1. Adira
I've been in love with her since 7th grade. Maybe not always conciously, but enough to the point that if I see her, or anything or anyone that reminds me of her, my heart aches like a mofo. If she was mute, I'd still love her voice. If she was paralyzed, I'd still love the way she threw back her head when she laughs. If she was bald, I'd still love her hair. I have this burning desire to feel like I'm dying and hold her in my arms. I'd cross the street without a crosswalk for her. I'd do drugs for her. I'd climb a rock wall for her. I'd kill a spider for her. I'd probably do anything to get her to care about me the same way.
2. the Logan dream
I woke up after a crazy dream. For the past few nights I've been having these dreams where so much that I want is packed into them. I don't remember much from the other nights, but last night, it was that Logan and I were madly in love (maybe I got the love theme because I was thinking about Adira until I fell asleep?). We also had sex everywhere. And if it didn't happen in the dream, then I woke up thinking it had. In the shower, her house, my moms house, my dads house, in a car. And then we were lying in a car and there was an awkward silence, she said something about the superbowl, and I woke up. Sheesh. Just when I was getting over her, I go and have a dream like that. I should be upset that she didn't comment back for the past few weeks, but I wasn't angry, I just sort of ignored it. Whatever.
3. Indie webmag
I was lying in bed recalling that I never really found a review for cool edit pro 2.0, but I used it anyways. I thought about writing one and publishing it online, and then I thought maybe I'd review other things too, like indie artists, because frankly, the only people who are going to care about a music producing program thing would be indie artists. and then I thought I could make a bunch of pages on nice paper and decorate them, and then scan them to the computer, then put them on adobe, and then put up a link somewhere to download it, and then maybe make it a monthly thing. Then I thought I couldn't do it alone so I'd recruit other people. But then I was too lazy to get out of bed and go to the computer to see if anyone would make an indie web magazine with me. So I nixed the whole idea and decided that if anyone needed a cool edit pro 2.0 review, I'd just tell them it was okay.
4. Everything is Illuminated
I'd seen the movie and now I'm reading the book. The emotions are far too intense in that book, so I think it'd be impossible to read all in one sitting. Jonathan Safran Foer is a little bit of a literary genius because in the book Alex says that the other character's story can make him melancholy and distressed and angry and happy and illuminated all within a single passage and that's pretty much how I feel about it. Plus, he's an English pioneer because he can write as if he truly is a Ukrainian guy who recently learned English. It's absolutely fantastic and it makes me think of the language in a new way.
5. Blindness
They're making one of my favorite books into a movie. I can't say that I'm too excited because it's first and foremost Portuguese and I didn't hear any bit of a Portuguese accent in the trailer. But maybe I'll surprise myself and see it anyways.
Friday, July 11, 2008
JAB
So, I used to post here more than I post in my Livejournal, but I guess everything changed.
I like it here though. It's all so familiar.
But mostly I stopped by to say I missed you.
And that some things never change, because I caught myself saying "in other news" over at LJ but I changed it to "on a brighter note" because it didn't really feel right.
Blogger.
You fed my first blog addiction.
And for that I love you foreverevereverever. ever.
Though my posts may be sparse, none are without complete ardor.
And if you don't know what ardor means, go look it up in the dictionary that I (lovingly) added a few months ago to the sidebar.
I like it here though. It's all so familiar.
But mostly I stopped by to say I missed you.
And that some things never change, because I caught myself saying "in other news" over at LJ but I changed it to "on a brighter note" because it didn't really feel right.
Blogger.
You fed my first blog addiction.
And for that I love you foreverevereverever. ever.
Though my posts may be sparse, none are without complete ardor.
And if you don't know what ardor means, go look it up in the dictionary that I (lovingly) added a few months ago to the sidebar.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Chex mix.
EDIT: I had a list up of things that pissed me off about someone, but I don't know what got into me. So I got rid of it.
Torie's sister is in labor.
For all I know, Ethan could be born now, actually.
I'd like to know.
I miss M.U.N.
You can read my... soliloquy on my livejournal.
I want LaHonda, CGB, and Y&G MLC to get here now.
Torie's sister is in labor.
For all I know, Ethan could be born now, actually.
I'd like to know.
I miss M.U.N.
You can read my... soliloquy on my livejournal.
I want LaHonda, CGB, and Y&G MLC to get here now.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
goodnight moon.
I have so much to say but no way to say it.
a friend of mine was so fucking stupid last night, she nearly died.
It took me a while to decide if I'm glad she's alive or pissed at her for being DELIBERATELY stupid.
Jesus.
sometimes I regret not being corrupted, but it's times like now I'm glad I'm fucking sober.
I keep running the story through my head and knowing how different it would be if I was there just kills me.
a friend of mine was so fucking stupid last night, she nearly died.
It took me a while to decide if I'm glad she's alive or pissed at her for being DELIBERATELY stupid.
Jesus.
sometimes I regret not being corrupted, but it's times like now I'm glad I'm fucking sober.
I keep running the story through my head and knowing how different it would be if I was there just kills me.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
twenty fucking three.
it's hard to rock out to a catchy beat and blog at the same time, but so far I'm managing.
I actually read the school newspaper and saw the article about josh chou's beats. And now I'm listening to him. And it's really cool stuff. I'd definitely rap over that. except I sound too girly. and I don't feel like asking him. and my raps aren't G4NG$T4H enough. but you should check him out here.
so anywaysssss.
Today was super easy. We had to attend today, but they only technically had to keep us for about to hours, so they spent about 15 minutes chatting about summer school and some yearbook party and then they popped zoolander in the movie machine. ZOOLANDER. my favorite movie. On the easiest day of school. sick. After that, Anne and Shelby and I went to Shelby's place. I cooked them some delicious mac and cheese and then we put the number 23 on. The rest of our afternoon frolics are classified information, but if you give me a rose, I might tell you. then I came back home and cheeled. watched some Monk, of course. because I do that... every day. Both episodes. And when my routine is interrupted, I get cranky.
My cat is in a good mood, which I like.
She's shedding, which I don't like.
I actually read the school newspaper and saw the article about josh chou's beats. And now I'm listening to him. And it's really cool stuff. I'd definitely rap over that. except I sound too girly. and I don't feel like asking him. and my raps aren't G4NG$T4H enough. but you should check him out here.
so anywaysssss.
Today was super easy. We had to attend today, but they only technically had to keep us for about to hours, so they spent about 15 minutes chatting about summer school and some yearbook party and then they popped zoolander in the movie machine. ZOOLANDER. my favorite movie. On the easiest day of school. sick. After that, Anne and Shelby and I went to Shelby's place. I cooked them some delicious mac and cheese and then we put the number 23 on. The rest of our afternoon frolics are classified information, but if you give me a rose, I might tell you. then I came back home and cheeled. watched some Monk, of course. because I do that... every day. Both episodes. And when my routine is interrupted, I get cranky.
My cat is in a good mood, which I like.
She's shedding, which I don't like.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
bitchwooddddd.
Me. and a liar. Everything doctorIMsick says is a lie. and I went along with it. for now...
soapsucker omg: hey m00fieee.
doctorIMsick: Does she really still go by m00f? (:
soapsucker omg: kind of haha
soapsucker omg: do you still go my clipp? or is it traye now?
soapsucker omg: *by
doctorIMsick: Traye's the real deal's name, Clipp's my sexy s/n-type name. lmao.
doctorIMsick: holy shit.
doctorIMsick: its been so long.
doctorIMsick: fuck, how is she?
doctorIMsick: );
doctorIMsick: how old is she now?
soapsucker omg: she's good
soapsucker omg: 14 now haha
doctorIMsick: ...
doctorIMsick: she was fourteen 3 years ago?
soapsucker omg: maybe she lied
doctorIMsick: or was it 2.
doctorIMsick: ;0
soapsucker omg: everyone lies on the internet
doctorIMsick: Mhh.
soapsucker omg: what, you never lied? hahaha
doctorIMsick: I feel liek a sex offender.
doctorIMsick: lmao.
doctorIMsick: D;
soapsucker omg: sex offender, huh?
doctorIMsick: 19 now.
soapsucker omg: cool cool
doctorIMsick: nahh sonn.
soapsucker omg: it doesn't matter, you haven't talked to her for hella days anyways
doctorIMsick: im still in a slump.
doctorIMsick: i havent even gone to college yet.
doctorIMsick: fuck, im a loser. ;/
soapsucker omg: por que? still dating that girl in the funny farm?
doctorIMsick: fuck nahh
doctorIMsick: she got out though.
doctorIMsick: shes alright.
doctorIMsick: we talk sometimes.
doctorIMsick: not often.
doctorIMsick: she moved a good distance away.
soapsucker omg: oh well
soapsucker omg: it happens
doctorIMsick: mm.
doctorIMsick: i dont care much
doctorIMsick: she turned out to be a reaaaall pain in the ass in the end
soapsucker omg: I'll bet...
soapsucker omg: what was she in for?
doctorIMsick: she 'tried to kill herself'.
soapsucker omg: ...
soapsucker omg: she did it for attention?
doctorIMsick: ehh she was pretty fucked up
doctorIMsick: mgihtve just been her
doctorIMsick: ;P
doctorIMsick: but yeh.
doctorIMsick: that too.
soapsucker omg: so what else are you up to?
soapsucker omg: still friends with that girl? alana or something.
doctorIMsick: nahh.
doctorIMsick: well.
doctorIMsick: yeah?
doctorIMsick: but
doctorIMsick: we dont hang out at all really.
doctorIMsick: we kinda went seperate ways.
doctorIMsick: she went to a different school, etc.
soapsucker omg: oh. right.
soapsucker omg: what about that other guy?
doctorIMsick: stash?!11
soapsucker omg: si
doctorIMsick: fuck, he was the man. lmao
doctorIMsick: he left too.
doctorIMsick: a while back.
doctorIMsick: seems like everyones all set to grow up.
doctorIMsick: and im not.
soapsucker omg: wow. no offense. but that makes you kind of a loser
doctorIMsick: nah sonn.
doctorIMsick: it doesnt matter?
doctorIMsick: you make new friends
doctorIMsick: I have a decent job, and im still pretty good at guitar
doctorIMsick: ill go to school soon, im actually planning on it in august.
soapsucker omg: that's good
soapsucker omg: what school?
doctorIMsick: well, seeing as im pretty positive i want to take psychology, i chose Northeast technical insitute. lol
doctorIMsick: its nothing fancy
doctorIMsick: its in a town about 2 hours away from rme right now.
soapsucker omg: where do you live again?
doctorIMsick: MA.
soapsucker omg: oh yeah
soapsucker omg: now I remember
soapsucker omg: I forgot a lot about you
soapsucker omg: because you're never on.
doctorIMsick: yeah.
soapsucker omg: why not?
doctorIMsick: well its pointless. i can drive, so i just go out to see my friends instead. lol
soapsucker omg: gotcha
soapsucker omg: sorry i'm like interrogating you
soapsucker omg: it's not meant to sound that way.
doctorIMsick: nah its cool.
doctorIMsick: if im uncomfortable, i wont answer. ;P
soapsucker omg: so if I ask you about your sex life...?
soapsucker omg: hahaha just kidding
doctorIMsick: my sexlife is fiiine.
doctorIMsick: not this month though.
doctorIMsick: but it will be soonh.
doctorIMsick: *soon.
soapsucker omg: just kidding normally doesn't require an answer
soapsucker omg: but okay
doctorIMsick: well i didnt want you to think im a 19 yr old virgin. (;
soapsucker omg: I know
soapsucker omg: this may or may not be answerable
soapsucker omg: are you straight?
soapsucker omg: because I think I remember something about
doctorIMsick: ive been bi in the past
soapsucker omg: liking a boy
doctorIMsick: but now im full on straightttt.
soapsucker omg: ...
soapsucker omg: how do you just change like that
doctorIMsick: i was a cofnused little 16 yr old boy?
soapsucker omg: i'm hella jealous
soapsucker omg: Sooo sick of being called a dyke.
doctorIMsick: my little sis is bi.
doctorIMsick: and shes not like
doctorIMsick: trendy bi.
doctorIMsick: shes like.
doctorIMsick: picky, but bi.
doctorIMsick: i can tell.
soapsucker omg: ahhh I can't stand boys
soapsucker omg: no offense
doctorIMsick: yeah.
doctorIMsick: most of the time we suck.
doctorIMsick: (;
soapsucker omg: no fucking kidding
soapsucker omg: so do you ever talk to her anymore?
doctorIMsick: nahh
doctorIMsick: thats why i asked how she was
soapsucker omg: oh yeah, I do recall now
soapsucker omg: too bad, she's way cool
doctorIMsick: i know.
doctorIMsick: or assume.
soapsucker omg: you should strike up a convo
soapsucker omg: do you have a myspace?
soapsucker omg: or facebook?
doctorIMsick: nahhh.
doctorIMsick: i dont use IM.
doctorIMsick: so their even more pointless.
soapsucker omg: too badddd
soapsucker omg: didn't you meet her on like
soapsucker omg: neo?
soapsucker omg: XD
doctorIMsick: yahhh.
soapsucker omg: very "confused 16 year old boy" of you.
doctorIMsick: Mmmm.
doctorIMsick: shut up.
doctorIMsick: neo pets was fun.
doctorIMsick: before it ogt all gay.
soapsucker omg: it still is
doctorIMsick: *got
soapsucker omg: once you get past the ads and shit
soapsucker omg: like I still log on occasionally to play destructo
doctorIMsick: ahh
doctorIMsick: send me money and ill make an account
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: psh fuck no
doctorIMsick: fine you whore.
soapsucker omg: you're the one with the job, hombre
doctorIMsick: so?
doctorIMsick: fuck, im not wasting my money on neopets.
doctorIMsick: when i could be buying GTA.
soapsucker omg: you don't have to pay to make an account, dork
doctorIMsick: yeah its the money i want.
soapsucker omg: i'm raising my eyebrows at you.
soapsucker omg: just use your old account
soapsucker omg: and I'll challenge you at destructo
soapsucker omg: =]
doctorIMsick: i cant remember shit that old
doctorIMsick: lmao.
doctorIMsick: i could hardly log into this.
soapsucker omg: so then
soapsucker omg: why did you?
doctorIMsick: because i was boredddd. christ your nosey.
soapsucker omg: ...
soapsucker omg: i was only wondering
doctorIMsick: k
doctorIMsick: i chopped my hair all off.
doctorIMsick: lmao.
soapsucker omg: oh yeah?
soapsucker omg: send me a picture
doctorIMsick: mmh.
doctorIMsick: fine.
doctorIMsick: but its not the best.
doctorIMsick: :/
doctorIMsick: its from when i broke my nose.
soapsucker omg: haha how?
doctorIMsick: around here we have these giant department stores called BJs
doctorIMsick: and i was high.
doctorIMsick: and i was running around.
doctorIMsick: and i smashed face first into a metal shelf.
doctorIMsick: stfu, i dont wanan hear it.
soapsucker omg: you're cool
soapsucker omg: lol
doctorIMsick: do you wanna see the 'cute' one, so says my friend Kaila, which i find really kinda funny looking, or the not so good one, but im kinda normal?
doctorIMsick: both have the broken nose though.
doctorIMsick: i have like
doctorIMsick: nothing/
soapsucker omg: just send me both them
soapsucker omg: of them
doctorIMsick: i sold my camera. D;
doctorIMsick: if you fucking say im ugly, ill smack you hoe.
doctorIMsick: aiight?
doctorIMsick: lmao.
doctorIMsick: gangsta g.
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: too bad you can't actually smack me
doctorIMsick: fuck you.
doctorIMsick: http://i25.tinypic.com/11v1yj6.jpg
soapsucker omg: haha lemme see the other one :'
soapsucker omg: I mean :]
doctorIMsick: fine
doctorIMsick: hold on.
soapsucker omg: fankyou
doctorIMsick: this one isnt exactly 'hottie' material either. ;P
doctorIMsick: and my hairs grown about an inch and a half or so since this was taken
doctorIMsick: plus my nose has healed
doctorIMsick: :p
soapsucker omg: okay
doctorIMsick: http://i29.tinypic.com/5apaq9.jpg
soapsucker omg: which one did kaila like?
doctorIMsick: the little one
doctorIMsick: with my fucking retarded pout.
doctorIMsick: shes so gay.
doctorIMsick: lmao.
soapsucker omg: so when was this?
doctorIMsick: 2 monthes ago i think? maybe a little more
soapsucker omg: you don't look 19.
doctorIMsick: sorry?
soapsucker omg: i'm just saying
soapsucker omg: you look way young lol
doctorIMsick: Mmm.
doctorIMsick: thus why I have an ID. (;
soapsucker omg: haha I guessss
doctorIMsick: its the short hair.
doctorIMsick: trust me
doctorIMsick: ;/
doctorIMsick: it was way long
doctorIMsick: for a while.
doctorIMsick: and people say with my shorter hair i look younger.
soapsucker omg: i'm going to be honest, i don't remember what you look like at all.
soapsucker omg: or looked like
doctorIMsick: ...second thought.
doctorIMsick: i looked even younger with long hair.
doctorIMsick: ;/
soapsucker omg: hahaha
soapsucker omg: send me one with long hair XD
doctorIMsick: alright.
doctorIMsick: but its like.
doctorIMsick: ATLEAST
doctorIMsick: a year old.
doctorIMsick: and then thats all you get.
soapsucker omg: psh fine
doctorIMsick: http://i25.tinypic.com/213iqz8.jpg
doctorIMsick: i had it even longer than that around last october.
doctorIMsick: haha.
doctorIMsick: no comment?
doctorIMsick: lmao
doctorIMsick: am i that hideous.
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: haha no sorry
soapsucker omg: she actually just called
soapsucker omg: so i'm a tiny bit distracted
doctorIMsick: ill go.
doctorIMsick: ;x
soapsucker omg: nah don't
doctorIMsick: i have work early anyway.
soapsucker omg: where?
soapsucker omg: we're off the phone now btw
doctorIMsick: you'll laugh at me.
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: no I won'tttttt
soapsucker omg: i mean, I will
soapsucker omg: but not in a mean way
doctorIMsick: im the manager at a dennys resteraunt. lmao.
doctorIMsick: but its not terrible.
doctorIMsick: i mean christ.
doctorIMsick: i could be just a wroker.
doctorIMsick: *worker
doctorIMsick: so stfu.
soapsucker omg: i know dude
doctorIMsick: i hafta go though
soapsucker omg: do you have to wear an apron?
doctorIMsick: im fucking tiiired.
doctorIMsick: fuck you.
doctorIMsick: this ist he last time i sign on here.
doctorIMsick: ;/
soapsucker omg: aw I'm sorry
soapsucker omg: hahaha
soapsucker omg: go sleep
doctorIMsick: damn right your sorry.
doctorIMsick: ;P
doctorIMsick: kiss my feet, bitch.
doctorIMsick: night.
soapsucker omg: night hoe
doctorIMsick signed off at 8:18:51 PM.
soapsucker omg: hey m00fieee.
doctorIMsick: Does she really still go by m00f? (:
soapsucker omg: kind of haha
soapsucker omg: do you still go my clipp? or is it traye now?
soapsucker omg: *by
doctorIMsick: Traye's the real deal's name, Clipp's my sexy s/n-type name. lmao.
doctorIMsick: holy shit.
doctorIMsick: its been so long.
doctorIMsick: fuck, how is she?
doctorIMsick: );
doctorIMsick: how old is she now?
soapsucker omg: she's good
soapsucker omg: 14 now haha
doctorIMsick: ...
doctorIMsick: she was fourteen 3 years ago?
soapsucker omg: maybe she lied
doctorIMsick: or was it 2.
doctorIMsick: ;0
soapsucker omg: everyone lies on the internet
doctorIMsick: Mhh.
soapsucker omg: what, you never lied? hahaha
doctorIMsick: I feel liek a sex offender.
doctorIMsick: lmao.
doctorIMsick: D;
soapsucker omg: sex offender, huh?
doctorIMsick: 19 now.
soapsucker omg: cool cool
doctorIMsick: nahh sonn.
soapsucker omg: it doesn't matter, you haven't talked to her for hella days anyways
doctorIMsick: im still in a slump.
doctorIMsick: i havent even gone to college yet.
doctorIMsick: fuck, im a loser. ;/
soapsucker omg: por que? still dating that girl in the funny farm?
doctorIMsick: fuck nahh
doctorIMsick: she got out though.
doctorIMsick: shes alright.
doctorIMsick: we talk sometimes.
doctorIMsick: not often.
doctorIMsick: she moved a good distance away.
soapsucker omg: oh well
soapsucker omg: it happens
doctorIMsick: mm.
doctorIMsick: i dont care much
doctorIMsick: she turned out to be a reaaaall pain in the ass in the end
soapsucker omg: I'll bet...
soapsucker omg: what was she in for?
doctorIMsick: she 'tried to kill herself'.
soapsucker omg: ...
soapsucker omg: she did it for attention?
doctorIMsick: ehh she was pretty fucked up
doctorIMsick: mgihtve just been her
doctorIMsick: ;P
doctorIMsick: but yeh.
doctorIMsick: that too.
soapsucker omg: so what else are you up to?
soapsucker omg: still friends with that girl? alana or something.
doctorIMsick: nahh.
doctorIMsick: well.
doctorIMsick: yeah?
doctorIMsick: but
doctorIMsick: we dont hang out at all really.
doctorIMsick: we kinda went seperate ways.
doctorIMsick: she went to a different school, etc.
soapsucker omg: oh. right.
soapsucker omg: what about that other guy?
doctorIMsick: stash?!11
soapsucker omg: si
doctorIMsick: fuck, he was the man. lmao
doctorIMsick: he left too.
doctorIMsick: a while back.
doctorIMsick: seems like everyones all set to grow up.
doctorIMsick: and im not.
soapsucker omg: wow. no offense. but that makes you kind of a loser
doctorIMsick: nah sonn.
doctorIMsick: it doesnt matter?
doctorIMsick: you make new friends
doctorIMsick: I have a decent job, and im still pretty good at guitar
doctorIMsick: ill go to school soon, im actually planning on it in august.
soapsucker omg: that's good
soapsucker omg: what school?
doctorIMsick: well, seeing as im pretty positive i want to take psychology, i chose Northeast technical insitute. lol
doctorIMsick: its nothing fancy
doctorIMsick: its in a town about 2 hours away from rme right now.
soapsucker omg: where do you live again?
doctorIMsick: MA.
soapsucker omg: oh yeah
soapsucker omg: now I remember
soapsucker omg: I forgot a lot about you
soapsucker omg: because you're never on.
doctorIMsick: yeah.
soapsucker omg: why not?
doctorIMsick: well its pointless. i can drive, so i just go out to see my friends instead. lol
soapsucker omg: gotcha
soapsucker omg: sorry i'm like interrogating you
soapsucker omg: it's not meant to sound that way.
doctorIMsick: nah its cool.
doctorIMsick: if im uncomfortable, i wont answer. ;P
soapsucker omg: so if I ask you about your sex life...?
soapsucker omg: hahaha just kidding
doctorIMsick: my sexlife is fiiine.
doctorIMsick: not this month though.
doctorIMsick: but it will be soonh.
doctorIMsick: *soon.
soapsucker omg: just kidding normally doesn't require an answer
soapsucker omg: but okay
doctorIMsick: well i didnt want you to think im a 19 yr old virgin. (;
soapsucker omg: I know
soapsucker omg: this may or may not be answerable
soapsucker omg: are you straight?
soapsucker omg: because I think I remember something about
doctorIMsick: ive been bi in the past
soapsucker omg: liking a boy
doctorIMsick: but now im full on straightttt.
soapsucker omg: ...
soapsucker omg: how do you just change like that
doctorIMsick: i was a cofnused little 16 yr old boy?
soapsucker omg: i'm hella jealous
soapsucker omg: Sooo sick of being called a dyke.
doctorIMsick: my little sis is bi.
doctorIMsick: and shes not like
doctorIMsick: trendy bi.
doctorIMsick: shes like.
doctorIMsick: picky, but bi.
doctorIMsick: i can tell.
soapsucker omg: ahhh I can't stand boys
soapsucker omg: no offense
doctorIMsick: yeah.
doctorIMsick: most of the time we suck.
doctorIMsick: (;
soapsucker omg: no fucking kidding
soapsucker omg: so do you ever talk to her anymore?
doctorIMsick: nahh
doctorIMsick: thats why i asked how she was
soapsucker omg: oh yeah, I do recall now
soapsucker omg: too bad, she's way cool
doctorIMsick: i know.
doctorIMsick: or assume.
soapsucker omg: you should strike up a convo
soapsucker omg: do you have a myspace?
soapsucker omg: or facebook?
doctorIMsick: nahhh.
doctorIMsick: i dont use IM.
doctorIMsick: so their even more pointless.
soapsucker omg: too badddd
soapsucker omg: didn't you meet her on like
soapsucker omg: neo?
soapsucker omg: XD
doctorIMsick: yahhh.
soapsucker omg: very "confused 16 year old boy" of you.
doctorIMsick: Mmmm.
doctorIMsick: shut up.
doctorIMsick: neo pets was fun.
doctorIMsick: before it ogt all gay.
soapsucker omg: it still is
doctorIMsick: *got
soapsucker omg: once you get past the ads and shit
soapsucker omg: like I still log on occasionally to play destructo
doctorIMsick: ahh
doctorIMsick: send me money and ill make an account
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: psh fuck no
doctorIMsick: fine you whore.
soapsucker omg: you're the one with the job, hombre
doctorIMsick: so?
doctorIMsick: fuck, im not wasting my money on neopets.
doctorIMsick: when i could be buying GTA.
soapsucker omg: you don't have to pay to make an account, dork
doctorIMsick: yeah its the money i want.
soapsucker omg: i'm raising my eyebrows at you.
soapsucker omg: just use your old account
soapsucker omg: and I'll challenge you at destructo
soapsucker omg: =]
doctorIMsick: i cant remember shit that old
doctorIMsick: lmao.
doctorIMsick: i could hardly log into this.
soapsucker omg: so then
soapsucker omg: why did you?
doctorIMsick: because i was boredddd. christ your nosey.
soapsucker omg: ...
soapsucker omg: i was only wondering
doctorIMsick: k
doctorIMsick: i chopped my hair all off.
doctorIMsick: lmao.
soapsucker omg: oh yeah?
soapsucker omg: send me a picture
doctorIMsick: mmh.
doctorIMsick: fine.
doctorIMsick: but its not the best.
doctorIMsick: :/
doctorIMsick: its from when i broke my nose.
soapsucker omg: haha how?
doctorIMsick: around here we have these giant department stores called BJs
doctorIMsick: and i was high.
doctorIMsick: and i was running around.
doctorIMsick: and i smashed face first into a metal shelf.
doctorIMsick: stfu, i dont wanan hear it.
soapsucker omg: you're cool
soapsucker omg: lol
doctorIMsick: do you wanna see the 'cute' one, so says my friend Kaila, which i find really kinda funny looking, or the not so good one, but im kinda normal?
doctorIMsick: both have the broken nose though.
doctorIMsick: i have like
doctorIMsick: nothing/
soapsucker omg: just send me both them
soapsucker omg: of them
doctorIMsick: i sold my camera. D;
doctorIMsick: if you fucking say im ugly, ill smack you hoe.
doctorIMsick: aiight?
doctorIMsick: lmao.
doctorIMsick: gangsta g.
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: too bad you can't actually smack me
doctorIMsick: fuck you.
doctorIMsick: http://i25.tinypic.com/11v1yj6.jpg
soapsucker omg: haha lemme see the other one :'
soapsucker omg: I mean :]
doctorIMsick: fine
doctorIMsick: hold on.
soapsucker omg: fankyou
doctorIMsick: this one isnt exactly 'hottie' material either. ;P
doctorIMsick: and my hairs grown about an inch and a half or so since this was taken
doctorIMsick: plus my nose has healed
doctorIMsick: :p
soapsucker omg: okay
doctorIMsick: http://i29.tinypic.com/5apaq9.jpg
soapsucker omg: which one did kaila like?
doctorIMsick: the little one
doctorIMsick: with my fucking retarded pout.
doctorIMsick: shes so gay.
doctorIMsick: lmao.
soapsucker omg: so when was this?
doctorIMsick: 2 monthes ago i think? maybe a little more
soapsucker omg: you don't look 19.
doctorIMsick: sorry?
soapsucker omg: i'm just saying
soapsucker omg: you look way young lol
doctorIMsick: Mmm.
doctorIMsick: thus why I have an ID. (;
soapsucker omg: haha I guessss
doctorIMsick: its the short hair.
doctorIMsick: trust me
doctorIMsick: ;/
doctorIMsick: it was way long
doctorIMsick: for a while.
doctorIMsick: and people say with my shorter hair i look younger.
soapsucker omg: i'm going to be honest, i don't remember what you look like at all.
soapsucker omg: or looked like
doctorIMsick: ...second thought.
doctorIMsick: i looked even younger with long hair.
doctorIMsick: ;/
soapsucker omg: hahaha
soapsucker omg: send me one with long hair XD
doctorIMsick: alright.
doctorIMsick: but its like.
doctorIMsick: ATLEAST
doctorIMsick: a year old.
doctorIMsick: and then thats all you get.
soapsucker omg: psh fine
doctorIMsick: http://i25.tinypic.com/213iqz8.jpg
doctorIMsick: i had it even longer than that around last october.
doctorIMsick: haha.
doctorIMsick: no comment?
doctorIMsick: lmao
doctorIMsick: am i that hideous.
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: haha no sorry
soapsucker omg: she actually just called
soapsucker omg: so i'm a tiny bit distracted
doctorIMsick: ill go.
doctorIMsick: ;x
soapsucker omg: nah don't
doctorIMsick: i have work early anyway.
soapsucker omg: where?
soapsucker omg: we're off the phone now btw
doctorIMsick: you'll laugh at me.
doctorIMsick: ;P
soapsucker omg: no I won'tttttt
soapsucker omg: i mean, I will
soapsucker omg: but not in a mean way
doctorIMsick: im the manager at a dennys resteraunt. lmao.
doctorIMsick: but its not terrible.
doctorIMsick: i mean christ.
doctorIMsick: i could be just a wroker.
doctorIMsick: *worker
doctorIMsick: so stfu.
soapsucker omg: i know dude
doctorIMsick: i hafta go though
soapsucker omg: do you have to wear an apron?
doctorIMsick: im fucking tiiired.
doctorIMsick: fuck you.
doctorIMsick: this ist he last time i sign on here.
doctorIMsick: ;/
soapsucker omg: aw I'm sorry
soapsucker omg: hahaha
soapsucker omg: go sleep
doctorIMsick: damn right your sorry.
doctorIMsick: ;P
doctorIMsick: kiss my feet, bitch.
doctorIMsick: night.
soapsucker omg: night hoe
doctorIMsick signed off at 8:18:51 PM.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Ally stickers.
I wish every day was Earth day.
And the day of silence, although it's been a pain in the BOOTY to plan, should be swell.
And the day of silence, although it's been a pain in the BOOTY to plan, should be swell.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
sleep it all away.
"Something is changing inside of me..."
and I think it's true.
Recently I've been knitting a lot more and all I want is to clean up and vacuum and write raps.
Weirdest combination ever.
Worse than David's pickle and mustard sandwich.
Ironically, I'm doodling David right now.
But only because I've already vacuumed and written a rap and my knitting is in the other room.
I just feel so peculiar...
and I think it's true.
Recently I've been knitting a lot more and all I want is to clean up and vacuum and write raps.
Weirdest combination ever.
Worse than David's pickle and mustard sandwich.
Ironically, I'm doodling David right now.
But only because I've already vacuumed and written a rap and my knitting is in the other room.
I just feel so peculiar...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Don't deconstruct.
I cleaned my room today.
It took about 5 hours.
I listened to Rilo Kileys Takeoffs and Landings album at least 5 times, and my Chaplain CD once or twice.
If you've ever been inside my bedroom before, you may recall it being difficult to walk through, with a desk with junk piled sky high, a chair you can't even sit in because it's covered with sweatshirts, a corner of more junk, stupid drawings and epic photographs on the walls. Among other things. Only the photos remain.
I started with the corner. I filled a garbage bag with bullshit and found 7 unused gift cards. I found my stuffed cat that I got when I was 4. I (lovingly) threw her into the washing machine.
The desk was next. That took a really long time. I first had to go through the three drawers and get rid of the crap in there. Then I moved on to the mount rainier of the 408. I got rid of a lot of useless crap, and some useful stuff that just took up too much space. I called my brother in and we moved my desk perpendicular to where it was before. It's now up against the wall instead of sticking out, and it's a lot more space efficient. I intend to use it for sewing, not homework.
Bookshelf. It wasn't too hard, I just got rid of the stuff that wasn't books, and cleared off the top. Threw away some of that junk. It was very dusty. I found lots of stuff to sell at a garage sale, too.
I moved on to the top of my dresser. lots of useless old stuff, so that all went to ze trashbags. I found maybe 200 mardi gras bead strings. Not kidding. If anyone has any idea what to do with them, please tell me, because I'm totally stumped.
I vacuumed the room next, and then organized everything else. You know, all the little stuff. It looks a lot nicer now, and way less embarrassing. It'll probably last a few days...
I'd like to share with you the easiest recipe for Nachos ever. And they're tasty.
you will need your favorite:
- Chips
- Canned chili
- Mexican blend of shredded cheeses
(or cheddar)
- Salsa
1. Put a layer of chips on a big platter.
2. Cover with some cheese.
3. Then as much chili as you want.
4. Then more cheese!
5. Microwave for about 2 and a half minutes.
6. Dollop some salsa on.
7. munchmunchmunch
NOTE: I hate sour cream. I mean, I don't really HATE it, because I don't actually hate anything, but I don't like it. If you like it, you can put some on too with the salsa. And also, you can use any kind of chili. Vegetarian, turkey, bean, beef, whatever. It doesn't even have to be canned. :]
+ ew. school tomorrow!
It took about 5 hours.
I listened to Rilo Kileys Takeoffs and Landings album at least 5 times, and my Chaplain CD once or twice.
If you've ever been inside my bedroom before, you may recall it being difficult to walk through, with a desk with junk piled sky high, a chair you can't even sit in because it's covered with sweatshirts, a corner of more junk, stupid drawings and epic photographs on the walls. Among other things. Only the photos remain.
I started with the corner. I filled a garbage bag with bullshit and found 7 unused gift cards. I found my stuffed cat that I got when I was 4. I (lovingly) threw her into the washing machine.
The desk was next. That took a really long time. I first had to go through the three drawers and get rid of the crap in there. Then I moved on to the mount rainier of the 408. I got rid of a lot of useless crap, and some useful stuff that just took up too much space. I called my brother in and we moved my desk perpendicular to where it was before. It's now up against the wall instead of sticking out, and it's a lot more space efficient. I intend to use it for sewing, not homework.
Bookshelf. It wasn't too hard, I just got rid of the stuff that wasn't books, and cleared off the top. Threw away some of that junk. It was very dusty. I found lots of stuff to sell at a garage sale, too.
I moved on to the top of my dresser. lots of useless old stuff, so that all went to ze trashbags. I found maybe 200 mardi gras bead strings. Not kidding. If anyone has any idea what to do with them, please tell me, because I'm totally stumped.
I vacuumed the room next, and then organized everything else. You know, all the little stuff. It looks a lot nicer now, and way less embarrassing. It'll probably last a few days...
I'd like to share with you the easiest recipe for Nachos ever. And they're tasty.
you will need your favorite:
- Chips
- Canned chili
- Mexican blend of shredded cheeses
(or cheddar)
- Salsa
1. Put a layer of chips on a big platter.
2. Cover with some cheese.
3. Then as much chili as you want.
4. Then more cheese!
5. Microwave for about 2 and a half minutes.
6. Dollop some salsa on.
7. munchmunchmunch
NOTE: I hate sour cream. I mean, I don't really HATE it, because I don't actually hate anything, but I don't like it. If you like it, you can put some on too with the salsa. And also, you can use any kind of chili. Vegetarian, turkey, bean, beef, whatever. It doesn't even have to be canned. :]
+ ew. school tomorrow!
Friday, April 11, 2008
I'm hanging up now.
Ask me anything about Ketamine.
I dare you.
I've just spent forever researching it, so if there's anything you EVER want to know about it, just ask me.
Seriously.
I'd give you an overview, but I'm a little busy right now. I have to finish my Biology homework, but I promise I'll post an in depth, enlightening overview for you in my Livejournal.
In other news, I've discored a noise I can make with my fingers. it's very hollow sounding and it makes me giddy because it's new to me. I'll show you if you ask, but you probably won't find it as exciting as I do.
P.S.
this is my 60th post on What She Said. Cool!
I dare you.
I've just spent forever researching it, so if there's anything you EVER want to know about it, just ask me.
Seriously.
I'd give you an overview, but I'm a little busy right now. I have to finish my Biology homework, but I promise I'll post an in depth, enlightening overview for you in my Livejournal.
In other news, I've discored a noise I can make with my fingers. it's very hollow sounding and it makes me giddy because it's new to me. I'll show you if you ask, but you probably won't find it as exciting as I do.
P.S.
this is my 60th post on What She Said. Cool!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
This is an intervention.
I saw a cool movie tonight at the DeFrank. It was called Beautiful Boxer and it was about a Muaythai boxer who was a transvestite. Based on a true story.
We googled pictures of the real boxer after wards.
Blogger doesn't really like pictures so you won't be able to see it if I post it, but I'll put this on my LJ so you can see the whole thing if you want.
Then we took a stroll across the street to Chipotle. who was giving out free burritos. and now my uncle's here for dinner.
Best day ever?
no. but pretty close.
We googled pictures of the real boxer after wards.
Blogger doesn't really like pictures so you won't be able to see it if I post it, but I'll put this on my LJ so you can see the whole thing if you want.
Then we took a stroll across the street to Chipotle. who was giving out free burritos. and now my uncle's here for dinner.
Best day ever?
no. but pretty close.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The List.
I discover some cool websites.
www.instructables.com
www.threadbanger.com
www.stylemob.com
and that was just today.
I think I'll keep updating this post.
keep track of all the websites I'll love for a week and then forget about if I don't post 'em.
www.instructables.com
www.threadbanger.com
www.stylemob.com
and that was just today.
I think I'll keep updating this post.
keep track of all the websites I'll love for a week and then forget about if I don't post 'em.
Bananas.
I'm sick of dealing with procrastinators and I'm sick of feeling sorry for people.
First off, let me say I want to be a comedian.
A while ago I posted a blog about trying to be more funny and now I'm totally getting serious about it.
Some people laugh at things I say but that's probably because they think I'm dumb or something.
I'm going to make jokes. and I'm going to make jokes for a living. And I'll tour the world telling jokes in english and I'll be famous and the people in ukraine who don't even speak english will come to my performances anyways because i'm faamous. And I'll be off the hook for being funny that one night in Ukraine because that's a waste of jokes if nobody can understand them.
But at least i'll get to go to Ukraine, which is cool.
still waiting for those clothes to work on, gentlemen.
Read my blog from a few days ago, it explains what I'll be doing with them.
First off, let me say I want to be a comedian.
A while ago I posted a blog about trying to be more funny and now I'm totally getting serious about it.
Some people laugh at things I say but that's probably because they think I'm dumb or something.
I'm going to make jokes. and I'm going to make jokes for a living. And I'll tour the world telling jokes in english and I'll be famous and the people in ukraine who don't even speak english will come to my performances anyways because i'm faamous. And I'll be off the hook for being funny that one night in Ukraine because that's a waste of jokes if nobody can understand them.
But at least i'll get to go to Ukraine, which is cool.
still waiting for those clothes to work on, gentlemen.
Read my blog from a few days ago, it explains what I'll be doing with them.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Shhh.
Please participate.
Click the picture to learn more about it, and ask me if you have any questions.
We're trying to make the day of silence really good at our school.
But unless you participate...it really won't work.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Wanted:
Any boys reading my blog?
If you have old clothes that still fit you, but you don't like them anymore, give them to me so I can revamp them and I'll give them back.
first five are free. Then they'll be like 5 bucks.
The only reason I'll be charging is because I have to but buttons and pabric paint and stuff.
But basically, I want to work on menswear.
So if you don't like what I come up with after I have worked on it, it's okay, because you didn't really like it in the first place anyways, right?
(that's why you gave it to me)
So comment this blog, text me, call me, myspace me, do whatever if you want me to revamp your clothes.
Thanks. =]
If you have old clothes that still fit you, but you don't like them anymore, give them to me so I can revamp them and I'll give them back.
first five are free. Then they'll be like 5 bucks.
The only reason I'll be charging is because I have to but buttons and pabric paint and stuff.
But basically, I want to work on menswear.
So if you don't like what I come up with after I have worked on it, it's okay, because you didn't really like it in the first place anyways, right?
(that's why you gave it to me)
So comment this blog, text me, call me, myspace me, do whatever if you want me to revamp your clothes.
Thanks. =]
Thursday, April 3, 2008
You can have it all
I think it's weird when people who aren't really my friends know my name.
I thought I was the only person who observed names, but sometimes some random kid in my english class says my name and I go "huh? how do you know my name?" and I think I offend them.
This has happened with Armeen and Edwin.
Lauren Webber read my blog the other day. I don't quite remember, but she may have asked me to mention her again. So I'm mentioning Lauren Webber. Today she made a sign that said 3 on it because our algebra teacher just WOULDN'T LISTEN. So she held it up and waved it around and our teacher got the message.
GSA summit tonight. I don't want to be the only one from my school again, but I will be. It's tre unfortunate. My GSA is a bunch of trou du cul's. That means asshole in french. but they actually aren't assholes. They just can't make it to the defrank.
I wish Oaf was a girl.
I thought I was the only person who observed names, but sometimes some random kid in my english class says my name and I go "huh? how do you know my name?" and I think I offend them.
This has happened with Armeen and Edwin.
Lauren Webber read my blog the other day. I don't quite remember, but she may have asked me to mention her again. So I'm mentioning Lauren Webber. Today she made a sign that said 3 on it because our algebra teacher just WOULDN'T LISTEN. So she held it up and waved it around and our teacher got the message.
GSA summit tonight. I don't want to be the only one from my school again, but I will be. It's tre unfortunate. My GSA is a bunch of trou du cul's. That means asshole in french. but they actually aren't assholes. They just can't make it to the defrank.
I wish Oaf was a girl.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Maybe if I don't blink...
So today in health we were taking notes about smoking and Miss Patel decided to show us some smoking videos on youtube.
Lauren Webber and Aaron Petty told her about those "sunny side of the truth" commercials, with the songs and the cartoons, so she searched them, the "type" one and the "magical amount" one.
I almost cried.
I'm such a loser, haha.
But it is kind of sad.
As I told my LJ readers (nobody) I downloaded Limewire yesterday.
I didn't quite get it at first, but now I totally do.
I feel really illegal, but that shit's hella cool!
Lauren Webber and Aaron Petty told her about those "sunny side of the truth" commercials, with the songs and the cartoons, so she searched them, the "type" one and the "magical amount" one.
I almost cried.
I'm such a loser, haha.
But it is kind of sad.
As I told my LJ readers (nobody) I downloaded Limewire yesterday.
I didn't quite get it at first, but now I totally do.
I feel really illegal, but that shit's hella cool!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Sacred feather
so i guess people do read my blog. But that's okay because it makes me happy.
I wrote a rap and I was going to post it so I had it on both computers without emailing it to myself, but depending on my readers, i may take it down.
i'm not going to tell you who it's about.
But the geniuses will be able to figure it out. and maybe even non-geniuses.
So here we are. It's a work in progress, and I tweak it at least every few hours. Honestly.
And if you guess who it is, please don't use the name in a comment. Just in case, you know?
This is probably coming down. Seriously.
Verse one:
Man, I used to want to hug you
And make sure you never cry
But you wouldn’t let me try.
And then you didn’t tell me why.
All I know for sure is that
You didn’t want anything to do with me.
And I found it to be
Something that got to an intolerable degree.
You really ticked me off
One minute all friendly, and the next was “fuck off”.
You only had one thing on your mind
And I know fucking what.
It was a girl
And she fucking made you cut.
She’s a great person, yeah, I know.
But you were so fucking stubborn, that you couldn’t let go.
Chorus:
Sometimes, you know, I wish you dead.
But only because I can't get in your head.
Just know I always hated to love you best.
And send your smile my regrets.
Verse two:
And now.
Man, I’m spending way too much time.
Just sitting here stringing together words that rhyme.
And hoping it turns out at least a little okay.
Hoping I didn’t just waste a good chunk of my day.
It always felt like I didn’t care
But now, you’re not there
It’s all stressful air, and I can feel it.
Just like maybe if I reach out, I can steal it.
And maybe toss it out the door
Accidentally throw it on the floor
Like “oops, there it goes.
The bullshit that everyone knows.
I hope it doesn’t reappear.
Because I’m kind of glad it isn’t still here.”
Chorus:
Sometimes, you know, I wish you dead.
But only because I can't get in your head.
Just know I always hated to love you best.
And send your smile my regrets
In other news, I have a busy weekend.
i'm headed to a volleyball game tomorrow morning and then babysitting that afternoon. Then I'm going to a show that night (probably). Anyone want to come?
Sunday I'm babysitting and then going to the mall with shelby. What do you have planned?
I wrote a rap and I was going to post it so I had it on both computers without emailing it to myself, but depending on my readers, i may take it down.
i'm not going to tell you who it's about.
But the geniuses will be able to figure it out. and maybe even non-geniuses.
So here we are. It's a work in progress, and I tweak it at least every few hours. Honestly.
And if you guess who it is, please don't use the name in a comment. Just in case, you know?
This is probably coming down. Seriously.
Verse one:
Man, I used to want to hug you
And make sure you never cry
But you wouldn’t let me try.
And then you didn’t tell me why.
All I know for sure is that
You didn’t want anything to do with me.
And I found it to be
Something that got to an intolerable degree.
You really ticked me off
One minute all friendly, and the next was “fuck off”.
You only had one thing on your mind
And I know fucking what.
It was a girl
And she fucking made you cut.
She’s a great person, yeah, I know.
But you were so fucking stubborn, that you couldn’t let go.
Chorus:
Sometimes, you know, I wish you dead.
But only because I can't get in your head.
Just know I always hated to love you best.
And send your smile my regrets.
Verse two:
And now.
Man, I’m spending way too much time.
Just sitting here stringing together words that rhyme.
And hoping it turns out at least a little okay.
Hoping I didn’t just waste a good chunk of my day.
It always felt like I didn’t care
But now, you’re not there
It’s all stressful air, and I can feel it.
Just like maybe if I reach out, I can steal it.
And maybe toss it out the door
Accidentally throw it on the floor
Like “oops, there it goes.
The bullshit that everyone knows.
I hope it doesn’t reappear.
Because I’m kind of glad it isn’t still here.”
Chorus:
Sometimes, you know, I wish you dead.
But only because I can't get in your head.
Just know I always hated to love you best.
And send your smile my regrets
In other news, I have a busy weekend.
i'm headed to a volleyball game tomorrow morning and then babysitting that afternoon. Then I'm going to a show that night (probably). Anyone want to come?
Sunday I'm babysitting and then going to the mall with shelby. What do you have planned?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
eggie bread.
I forgot to mention, I hit the big 5-oh yesterday. 51 posts. nice.
I doodled Vanessa Carlton from the white houses video.
It's her same outfit but she's way skinnier in the picture. Probably because I was watching Americas Next Top Model at the same time.
It's actually on white paper, though, not blue.
Damn cameras, haha.
I doodled Vanessa Carlton from the white houses video.
It's her same outfit but she's way skinnier in the picture. Probably because I was watching Americas Next Top Model at the same time.
It's actually on white paper, though, not blue.
Damn cameras, haha.
Friday, March 21, 2008
miserableosity.
If you look up miserableosity, in a dictionary, you won't find it because it's not a word, but if you ask me about it, I'll tell my that my bat mitzvah was the epitome of miserableosity.
The day started out okay. my hair was poofy, I had a stupid pair of pants on, and my mom made me wear ugly purple eyeshadow. The night before, I had helped set up my party. I was up pretty late, but whatever, yeah? I get to the temple. Adira was the first to arrive. My photographer was there. She was about three feet tall or something and her pictures were ugly but she was there. She snapped some shots of me with my friends and then we had family pictures. Yawn.
My service was the normal boring service. My grandma couldn't pronounce "tikkun olam" and I didn't say my speches loud enough. I froze up on my torah portion, so the the cantor had to feed me the words, whispering through the poof that was my head from behind me. Everyone swore I did wonderfully. I had a little luncheon after the service with some really tasty bagels and manechewitz. We all thought we were totally badass because we drank 14 of those teeny tiny cups of barely fermented wine.
Afterwards, torie came over. I changed out of my stupid outfit and got into some jammie. We went to the park with my guitar for a bit and then decided to get back to the house to get ready. I changed into my uglyass blue dress. My hair wouldn't cooperate, so I had ugly hair. I guess I put it up in a clip or something. I drew a little heart on my face with eyeliner. Like I said, we all thought we were badass.
We got there. Things were okay. Some people were totally lame and didn't show up. Some people were really lame because they showed up in ratty jeans and ripped shirts.
The food was great. My DJ sucked. My friends were, for the most part, fine. My photographer, damn her, was back again.
My ex came and crashed. This was especially bad because I still had MAJOR feelings for her and my best friends ditched me the whole night to hang out with her and her friends. I cried in the bathroom at my own bat mitzvah while everyone was inside dancing to my stupid DJ wondering where I was. My candle lighting ceremony was miserable. We didn't know that you were supposed to pick out music to play in the background before the party, so it was lame. My best friend didn't come in for the candle lighting. It wasn't cool enough, I guess. I cried more. Adira and India comforted me and Misti got mad at me for not spending time with my other guests.
People ask me why I still reflect on my bat mitzvah. I guess it's because everyone always talks about how wonderful theirs was. It's not like a birthday party that went bad. This is a once in a lifetime thing, religious-wise and otherwise. It really upset me that my once in a lifetime event that was supposed to be wonderful was the worst night of my life. Truly honestly, I can't think of a night, or even a day, that was worse than that. Not even when I was puking my lungs out or the night when my cat died.
I only have one picture on my computer from my bat mitzvah. It's from my sisters myspace. I just don't want to remember any more of my bat mitzvah than necessary. Besides, like I said, my photographer sucked.
February 25th, 2006
The day started out okay. my hair was poofy, I had a stupid pair of pants on, and my mom made me wear ugly purple eyeshadow. The night before, I had helped set up my party. I was up pretty late, but whatever, yeah? I get to the temple. Adira was the first to arrive. My photographer was there. She was about three feet tall or something and her pictures were ugly but she was there. She snapped some shots of me with my friends and then we had family pictures. Yawn.
My service was the normal boring service. My grandma couldn't pronounce "tikkun olam" and I didn't say my speches loud enough. I froze up on my torah portion, so the the cantor had to feed me the words, whispering through the poof that was my head from behind me. Everyone swore I did wonderfully. I had a little luncheon after the service with some really tasty bagels and manechewitz. We all thought we were totally badass because we drank 14 of those teeny tiny cups of barely fermented wine.
Afterwards, torie came over. I changed out of my stupid outfit and got into some jammie. We went to the park with my guitar for a bit and then decided to get back to the house to get ready. I changed into my uglyass blue dress. My hair wouldn't cooperate, so I had ugly hair. I guess I put it up in a clip or something. I drew a little heart on my face with eyeliner. Like I said, we all thought we were badass.
We got there. Things were okay. Some people were totally lame and didn't show up. Some people were really lame because they showed up in ratty jeans and ripped shirts.
The food was great. My DJ sucked. My friends were, for the most part, fine. My photographer, damn her, was back again.
My ex came and crashed. This was especially bad because I still had MAJOR feelings for her and my best friends ditched me the whole night to hang out with her and her friends. I cried in the bathroom at my own bat mitzvah while everyone was inside dancing to my stupid DJ wondering where I was. My candle lighting ceremony was miserable. We didn't know that you were supposed to pick out music to play in the background before the party, so it was lame. My best friend didn't come in for the candle lighting. It wasn't cool enough, I guess. I cried more. Adira and India comforted me and Misti got mad at me for not spending time with my other guests.
People ask me why I still reflect on my bat mitzvah. I guess it's because everyone always talks about how wonderful theirs was. It's not like a birthday party that went bad. This is a once in a lifetime thing, religious-wise and otherwise. It really upset me that my once in a lifetime event that was supposed to be wonderful was the worst night of my life. Truly honestly, I can't think of a night, or even a day, that was worse than that. Not even when I was puking my lungs out or the night when my cat died.
I only have one picture on my computer from my bat mitzvah. It's from my sisters myspace. I just don't want to remember any more of my bat mitzvah than necessary. Besides, like I said, my photographer sucked.
February 25th, 2006
Sgt. Pepper.
I think that if I wrote a suicide note in this blog, nobody would read it. or care. Normally that wouldn't bug me, because I can write whatever I want, but now it's really starting to tick me off. The fact that nobody cares, I mean. Not the "nobody reads my blog" thing. And I'm not going to write a suicide note you guys. I'm only trying to make a point. This whole week people haven't been listening to what I say. Yesterday was really painful, actually. In the span of 20 minutes three people had either ignored me or couldn't hear me. It definitely upset me. and today a friend forgot about our plans, so now I'm stuck with my brothers all night. That's really not fun. My brothers hate each other, so they yell at each other, and then my mom yells at them, and I can never get any fucking quiet to do anything, like read or play guitar or work on my novel. I apologize to her for getting upset about being put in this situation. Is there something wrong with me? Yes. There certainly is.
Why do I let people ignore what I'm saying? Why do I let people screw up my plans? Why do I always give people the benefit of the doubt? Why has nothing changed? Ever?
I'm going to be honest, I'm a little bit misty-eyed right now.but why? I had the best night for a long time last night. I got to meet Vanessa Carlton again. She gave me a hug and signed a poster and she was nice to me. She didn't ignore what I say. I think the reason I'm upset is that even though a person I really admire cared (if only for a moment), some people in my life every day don't care.
Whatever. I don't want to dwell on this and I don't want to be perceived as a whiny teenage girl who's upset because she didn't get all the attention all fucking day. I really don't think i'm like that.
In other sucky news, my pictures from the vanessa carlton concert last night aren't on the mix 106.5 website, but the people who went right ahead of us had their pictures up.
This fucking blows.
Why do I let people ignore what I'm saying? Why do I let people screw up my plans? Why do I always give people the benefit of the doubt? Why has nothing changed? Ever?
I'm going to be honest, I'm a little bit misty-eyed right now.but why? I had the best night for a long time last night. I got to meet Vanessa Carlton again. She gave me a hug and signed a poster and she was nice to me. She didn't ignore what I say. I think the reason I'm upset is that even though a person I really admire cared (if only for a moment), some people in my life every day don't care.
Whatever. I don't want to dwell on this and I don't want to be perceived as a whiny teenage girl who's upset because she didn't get all the attention all fucking day. I really don't think i'm like that.
In other sucky news, my pictures from the vanessa carlton concert last night aren't on the mix 106.5 website, but the people who went right ahead of us had their pictures up.
This fucking blows.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Happy Easter, P.F. Changs!
I love to blog. I loooove to blog. I love it. Yes.
The blogging process:
1. Go all day going nuts because you have to say something but you don't know what or how.
2. Sit down at the computer and realize you don't know what to say.
3. Start typing. Something will come out, yeah?
4. End up saying far too much. Good job, you look stupid. Wow.
5. Hit post and watch the comments fly in (this is sarcasm. as we've observed in the past, nobody reads my blog anymore. We've also explored the pros and cons. The pros are that I can really say anything I want and get no shit for it. The cons are that I feel unloved and I feel like i'm wasting time typing shit out that nobody cares about)
Today I went to P.F. Changs for the first time ever ever ever. They have incredible lettuce wraps and really good beef with broccoli. I drew an easter cartoon and doodled on the leftover bag.
Perhaps you recall my promise to post a picture in every post from now on? hahahahaha. We've also learned from the past that when I promise things, I forget. I don't mean to, but I do.
Armeen got a haircut.
The blogging process:
1. Go all day going nuts because you have to say something but you don't know what or how.
2. Sit down at the computer and realize you don't know what to say.
3. Start typing. Something will come out, yeah?
4. End up saying far too much. Good job, you look stupid. Wow.
5. Hit post and watch the comments fly in (this is sarcasm. as we've observed in the past, nobody reads my blog anymore. We've also explored the pros and cons. The pros are that I can really say anything I want and get no shit for it. The cons are that I feel unloved and I feel like i'm wasting time typing shit out that nobody cares about)
Today I went to P.F. Changs for the first time ever ever ever. They have incredible lettuce wraps and really good beef with broccoli. I drew an easter cartoon and doodled on the leftover bag.
Perhaps you recall my promise to post a picture in every post from now on? hahahahaha. We've also learned from the past that when I promise things, I forget. I don't mean to, but I do.
Armeen got a haircut.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Shm00fie.
In the span of 35 hours, I've written 1 and a half raps.
One was about Ryan Flemming, Torie and I wrote it mostly as a joke on the bus ride home so we didn't have to go insane and because the Game Plan is a stupid movie.
I wrote one verse of a rap about five minutes ago.
Why? It's not that I didn't have anything else to do. It's that I had something to say.
It needs a chorus but now is when I don't know what to say.
If you want to read it, I'll show it to you, but I don't want to put it up here because I don't want anyone judging me by my rap. I mean, I'm not a good rapper. I'm a 15 year old white girl from Los Gatos. And I don't want this person to know I wrote it. This person doesn't even read my blog. This person doesn't even give a shit about me. I just don't want to put it up.
In other news, camp roberts was incredible. It met the normal expectations, everything sucking up until the end, where you realize it absolutely did NOT suck. But that's how a lot of things are. I met some cool people. I learned some cool things. I ate some crappy food. In other words, it was pretty much pure bliss.
In more other news, Brian was right. The shooting didn't happen. What a waste of three days. Two of them were spent sick and one was spent staying home from a hoax. While the people at school played hangman and watched Rob and Big, I stayed home sewing and watching chick flicks, which are stupid, for the record.
I finally bought a replacement iPod for the one that got stolen during finals week. This time I promised that if it got stolen again, I'd punch everyone with a silver iPod classic in the face and then steal it out of their hands. I'd get a lot of iPods, and two of them would be bound to be mine. Then I'd give the others back. But, I mean, I know I'll forget who owns them, so I'd probably just keep the two that are mine, donate one to my schools GSA, and then give the rest to an orphanage. But, you know, hopefully it just won't get stolen so I don't have to play Robin Hood.
One was about Ryan Flemming, Torie and I wrote it mostly as a joke on the bus ride home so we didn't have to go insane and because the Game Plan is a stupid movie.
I wrote one verse of a rap about five minutes ago.
Why? It's not that I didn't have anything else to do. It's that I had something to say.
It needs a chorus but now is when I don't know what to say.
If you want to read it, I'll show it to you, but I don't want to put it up here because I don't want anyone judging me by my rap. I mean, I'm not a good rapper. I'm a 15 year old white girl from Los Gatos. And I don't want this person to know I wrote it. This person doesn't even read my blog. This person doesn't even give a shit about me. I just don't want to put it up.
In other news, camp roberts was incredible. It met the normal expectations, everything sucking up until the end, where you realize it absolutely did NOT suck. But that's how a lot of things are. I met some cool people. I learned some cool things. I ate some crappy food. In other words, it was pretty much pure bliss.
In more other news, Brian was right. The shooting didn't happen. What a waste of three days. Two of them were spent sick and one was spent staying home from a hoax. While the people at school played hangman and watched Rob and Big, I stayed home sewing and watching chick flicks, which are stupid, for the record.
I finally bought a replacement iPod for the one that got stolen during finals week. This time I promised that if it got stolen again, I'd punch everyone with a silver iPod classic in the face and then steal it out of their hands. I'd get a lot of iPods, and two of them would be bound to be mine. Then I'd give the others back. But, I mean, I know I'll forget who owns them, so I'd probably just keep the two that are mine, donate one to my schools GSA, and then give the rest to an orphanage. But, you know, hopefully it just won't get stolen so I don't have to play Robin Hood.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
France: Security Council
This is the ultimate list of things to pack for camp-like events. for me, at least.
I was thinking of doing it all in spanish, but then I decided I didn't want to.
Shower Stuff:
-Razors + shaving cream
-Shampoo, Conditioner
-Bar of soap, in a little case thing
-Loooooofa
-Towel
-Bathing suit + flip flops
-Shower mat (depends how clean facilities are)
-facewash
Other bathroom stuff:
-Toothbrush + toothpaste
-Hair product
-Minimal makeup
-Any face or body creams/gels/lotions
-Hairpins/hairties
-Blowdryer/straightener (ehh, perhaps)
-Deoderant
-Q-tips
Sleeping stuff:
-Pillow
-Sleeping bag
-Bedsheet
-Stuffed elephant (duh)
-Boxorz, sweatpants, tee shirt etc.
Clothing:
Depends on the weather and how long you'll be gone, but EXTRA SOCKS are a must, and a sweater. jeans of course. Shirts, mustn't go topless. Unless it's a nudie camp. Sounds like oodles of fun. Naked girls, yeahhhh. hahaha. And comfy shoes. Or uncomfy shoes. Whatever.
Other:
-Flashlight
-Pencils/pens
-Notebook
-Granola bar :]
-Bag
-Camera
-iPod/cell phone/cell phone charger
I'm probably forgetting something, so if you have any suggestions of stuff to add, leave a comment on this post. Don't forget, you DO NOT need an account to leave a comment! Just submit it anonymously, and then leave your name along with the comment so I know who you are. :)
I was thinking of doing it all in spanish, but then I decided I didn't want to.
Shower Stuff:
-Razors + shaving cream
-Shampoo, Conditioner
-Bar of soap, in a little case thing
-Loooooofa
-Towel
-Bathing suit + flip flops
-Shower mat (depends how clean facilities are)
-facewash
Other bathroom stuff:
-Toothbrush + toothpaste
-Hair product
-Minimal makeup
-Any face or body creams/gels/lotions
-Hairpins/hairties
-Blowdryer/straightener (ehh, perhaps)
-Deoderant
-Q-tips
Sleeping stuff:
-Pillow
-Sleeping bag
-Bedsheet
-Stuffed elephant (duh)
-Boxorz, sweatpants, tee shirt etc.
Clothing:
Depends on the weather and how long you'll be gone, but EXTRA SOCKS are a must, and a sweater. jeans of course. Shirts, mustn't go topless. Unless it's a nudie camp. Sounds like oodles of fun. Naked girls, yeahhhh. hahaha. And comfy shoes. Or uncomfy shoes. Whatever.
Other:
-Flashlight
-Pencils/pens
-Notebook
-Granola bar :]
-Bag
-Camera
-iPod/cell phone/cell phone charger
I'm probably forgetting something, so if you have any suggestions of stuff to add, leave a comment on this post. Don't forget, you DO NOT need an account to leave a comment! Just submit it anonymously, and then leave your name along with the comment so I know who you are. :)
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Oh Darcy, Darcy.
So, why is it that the more free time I have, the fewer blogs I post? It's almost embarrassing. Blogging is my THING, yo. and I'm totally neglecting it. It's like not feeding the last giant panda left in the world or something.
So what's new with me? not much to be honest. Even though, I probably couldn't tell you everything that happened since the last blog I posted. I could try, though, and probably get the gist of it.
February 28th was the day i posted my last blog. it was a Friday.
Saturday: Clean house. Blow 40 bucks at Joanns fabrics. Spend the night at Tories. Write and trash one and a half songs.
Sunday: Wake up in tories bed. McDonalds, gardening, guitar in a drained pool. Babysit.
Monday: A day. Not much really. School. Watch Medium at 10.
Tuesday: B day. Go to 5th period but totally skip the rest of the day. I met a cool chick in the health office.
which brings us to today, Wednesday.
First Period, Health. I watched the end of A Beautiful Mind and did some book work. During the movie, I whipped out my incredible box of 50 colored pencils and doodled on my spanish notebook. it's beautiful now.
Second period, Band. Reichert still isn't back. Those who haven't been counting, he hasn't been at school since Monday. We had another free period, but with a different sub. I finally understand the whole multiple allele thing for Bio, thanks to Jenna.
Lunch. I spent it with Shelby and Anne figuring out our jump rope routine for PE the next day and trying to find Annes new love interest. Shelby wouldn't shut up about Vanessa Carlton more than usual.
Third period, Spanish. we had a test. It was tre easy. Except tre is french, not spanish. hardy har. Audri colored with my colored pencils.
Fourth Period, Biology. We had a quiz on multiple alleles. I used my newly acquired ESP and mind-message-sending skills to thank Jenna for teaching me. I totally aced it.
I walked Annie to Badminton practice, which I'm planning on joining now that I have more free time. That cool girl i met in the health office was there but I don't think she saw me.
I came home. homework blah blah blah dinner blah blah blah UMS band concert blah blah blah. and now I'm here, blogging. The season finale of project runway is on soon. Yee.
So what's new with me? not much to be honest. Even though, I probably couldn't tell you everything that happened since the last blog I posted. I could try, though, and probably get the gist of it.
February 28th was the day i posted my last blog. it was a Friday.
Saturday: Clean house. Blow 40 bucks at Joanns fabrics. Spend the night at Tories. Write and trash one and a half songs.
Sunday: Wake up in tories bed. McDonalds, gardening, guitar in a drained pool. Babysit.
Monday: A day. Not much really. School. Watch Medium at 10.
Tuesday: B day. Go to 5th period but totally skip the rest of the day. I met a cool chick in the health office.
which brings us to today, Wednesday.
First Period, Health. I watched the end of A Beautiful Mind and did some book work. During the movie, I whipped out my incredible box of 50 colored pencils and doodled on my spanish notebook. it's beautiful now.
Second period, Band. Reichert still isn't back. Those who haven't been counting, he hasn't been at school since Monday. We had another free period, but with a different sub. I finally understand the whole multiple allele thing for Bio, thanks to Jenna.
Lunch. I spent it with Shelby and Anne figuring out our jump rope routine for PE the next day and trying to find Annes new love interest. Shelby wouldn't shut up about Vanessa Carlton more than usual.
Third period, Spanish. we had a test. It was tre easy. Except tre is french, not spanish. hardy har. Audri colored with my colored pencils.
Fourth Period, Biology. We had a quiz on multiple alleles. I used my newly acquired ESP and mind-message-sending skills to thank Jenna for teaching me. I totally aced it.
I walked Annie to Badminton practice, which I'm planning on joining now that I have more free time. That cool girl i met in the health office was there but I don't think she saw me.
I came home. homework blah blah blah dinner blah blah blah UMS band concert blah blah blah. and now I'm here, blogging. The season finale of project runway is on soon. Yee.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
will turner.
Winter percussion is cancelled.
I have nothing more to say about this.
today:
Health. Go to computer lab to research mental disorders.
Band. Basically a free period. Spent the whole time outside talking about penises and quizzing people in Spanish.
GSA meeting at lunch. total failure.
Spanish. we had a sub and did almost nothnig all period. never a happier day in espanol.
After school. starting to feel sick. shit. I need to go vomit.
Winter Percussion meeting in bandroom. Tense air and awkward silences. Offensve statements and persistant questions.
Feeling sick still. shit.
Catch the last 30 minutes of Bio. Some sort of lab involving fake blood.
Go home. Bowl of soup. Homework.
DeFrank movie nightt. Rick and Steve, Dana and Kirsten, Chuck and Evan. Make gay stickers and text Shauns girlfriend.
Home. Life sucks.
In other news, I have a will Turner sticker on my left wrist. It's BA, to say the least.
I have nothing more to say about this.
today:
Health. Go to computer lab to research mental disorders.
Band. Basically a free period. Spent the whole time outside talking about penises and quizzing people in Spanish.
GSA meeting at lunch. total failure.
Spanish. we had a sub and did almost nothnig all period. never a happier day in espanol.
After school. starting to feel sick. shit. I need to go vomit.
Winter Percussion meeting in bandroom. Tense air and awkward silences. Offensve statements and persistant questions.
Feeling sick still. shit.
Catch the last 30 minutes of Bio. Some sort of lab involving fake blood.
Go home. Bowl of soup. Homework.
DeFrank movie nightt. Rick and Steve, Dana and Kirsten, Chuck and Evan. Make gay stickers and text Shauns girlfriend.
Home. Life sucks.
In other news, I have a will Turner sticker on my left wrist. It's BA, to say the least.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Fire garden.
BEFORE YOU READ THIS:
note that most of the time I don't really mean this. I don't mean to hurt anyone by saying this, I'm just trying to get my feelings the fuck OUT.
Attention LHS drumline and (maybe) drum staff:
I'm a freshman. and I'm a girl.
but just because I'm a frosh, don't assume I'm an immature useless member.
I'm not the best marcher. and I'm just okay drumming wise.
But I'm trying my fucking best.
Every rehearsal I walk out of there totally wiped because I'm working as fucking hard as I can.
And stop treating me like shit.
I'm just as much a member as you guys.
It pisses me off how you guys make fun of me and laugh at me because i'm trying to learn.
I ask a fucking question. Just grow the fuck up and answer it. Don't ignore it. at least I'm making an effort.
you guys piss me off because i'm giving up all my fucking time for this thing that I didn't even really want to do but I did because you guys needed more bodies.
I'm glad none of you are going to end up reading this.
I mean, it's just that freshmans blog, it doesn't matter, right?
P.S. I never thought that calling me a Bag Of Shit was funny. B.O.S. is a sucky nickname and I hate the bitter undertones of it.
note that most of the time I don't really mean this. I don't mean to hurt anyone by saying this, I'm just trying to get my feelings the fuck OUT.
Attention LHS drumline and (maybe) drum staff:
I'm a freshman. and I'm a girl.
but just because I'm a frosh, don't assume I'm an immature useless member.
I'm not the best marcher. and I'm just okay drumming wise.
But I'm trying my fucking best.
Every rehearsal I walk out of there totally wiped because I'm working as fucking hard as I can.
And stop treating me like shit.
I'm just as much a member as you guys.
It pisses me off how you guys make fun of me and laugh at me because i'm trying to learn.
I ask a fucking question. Just grow the fuck up and answer it. Don't ignore it. at least I'm making an effort.
you guys piss me off because i'm giving up all my fucking time for this thing that I didn't even really want to do but I did because you guys needed more bodies.
I'm glad none of you are going to end up reading this.
I mean, it's just that freshmans blog, it doesn't matter, right?
P.S. I never thought that calling me a Bag Of Shit was funny. B.O.S. is a sucky nickname and I hate the bitter undertones of it.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
live without warning.
So ask me what I did today.
Nahh, you don't need to ask, i'll tell you! that's what blogs are for, goof.
So I woke up and wanted breakfast, but we didn't have any milk. So I had a bowl of plain cinnamon toast crunch. watched a bit of a movie. myspaced. took out recycling, cleaned cat litter. blahblah. I was home alone at 3 so I watched a bit of epic movie and did some homework. I'd never seen epic movie before. it's dumb. Took a shower and some tylenol. Tylenol didn't do much, I still have a monster headache. I was so bored after my shower dude. I went through my drum music and drew lines where new sets began. I drew a picture on graph paprer of my sets, kind of like connect the dots, with the number of counts each move one. I went through all my CDs. I found 6 or 7 of my beatles CDs and played a bit of each song to see which ones I knew all the words to. I know almost all of them, of course. I ate a candy cane. I drew a fennec fox with pastels and markers and I wrote the date in pencil. by this time my dad and brothers get home. i installed a new keyboard and now, here I am. I decided that from now on, every blog is going to contain some sort of picture. If I had one right now, I'd put a picture of that fox I drew, but I don't have a picture of it. so next time, I'll show you all. haha.
in other news, I found my birthday check from a year ago from my grandma today. never give me checks, my friend. I lose them.
EDIT.
Nahh, you don't need to ask, i'll tell you! that's what blogs are for, goof.
So I woke up and wanted breakfast, but we didn't have any milk. So I had a bowl of plain cinnamon toast crunch. watched a bit of a movie. myspaced. took out recycling, cleaned cat litter. blahblah. I was home alone at 3 so I watched a bit of epic movie and did some homework. I'd never seen epic movie before. it's dumb. Took a shower and some tylenol. Tylenol didn't do much, I still have a monster headache. I was so bored after my shower dude. I went through my drum music and drew lines where new sets began. I drew a picture on graph paprer of my sets, kind of like connect the dots, with the number of counts each move one. I went through all my CDs. I found 6 or 7 of my beatles CDs and played a bit of each song to see which ones I knew all the words to. I know almost all of them, of course. I ate a candy cane. I drew a fennec fox with pastels and markers and I wrote the date in pencil. by this time my dad and brothers get home. i installed a new keyboard and now, here I am. I decided that from now on, every blog is going to contain some sort of picture. If I had one right now, I'd put a picture of that fox I drew, but I don't have a picture of it. so next time, I'll show you all. haha.
in other news, I found my birthday check from a year ago from my grandma today. never give me checks, my friend. I lose them.
EDIT.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Platinum blonde life.
So, it really ticks me off how gay boys are every straight girls little plaything.
It's like "ooh. I'm going to the mall with my gay boy and we're going to search for hot boys."
Honestly, just because they like the same gender as you, doesn't mean you can just treat them like a toy.
"aww, look how cute my little gay boy is!"
Gay boys are people too.
ATTN GAY BOYS:
How many friends do you guys have that only like you because you can "gossip about hotties"?
how many friends do you have that are real?
Gay boys are people.
TREAT THEM LIKE PEOPLE.
the end.
It's like "ooh. I'm going to the mall with my gay boy and we're going to search for hot boys."
Honestly, just because they like the same gender as you, doesn't mean you can just treat them like a toy.
"aww, look how cute my little gay boy is!"
Gay boys are people too.
ATTN GAY BOYS:
How many friends do you guys have that only like you because you can "gossip about hotties"?
how many friends do you have that are real?
Gay boys are people.
TREAT THEM LIKE PEOPLE.
the end.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Unsex me.
So recently I've been hating life.
I mean, just as it starts getting good, something pops up that sucks.
I fully realize I don't sound like myself, and I sound more or less like the emo kid I was mid-seventh grade.
But, really.
life sucks right now.
I hate Macbeth, cuddling, and drumline.
I mean, just as it starts getting good, something pops up that sucks.
I fully realize I don't sound like myself, and I sound more or less like the emo kid I was mid-seventh grade.
But, really.
life sucks right now.
I hate Macbeth, cuddling, and drumline.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Scherzino.
I feel I simply must rant about my God-awful day.
still saving up for my iPod that fucking got stolen.
Friday:
4:00 pm - leave Shelbys duct tape club party to set up for the crab feed.
4:15 pm - lift heavy boxes and wheel them from the bandroom to the cafeteria.
6:00 pm - help Benjamin tape the lighthouse to the poles. mount lights.
9:00 pm - go out to dinner with Jacque, Jordan, Connor, Misti, Kerry, and Cindi.
10:30 pm - get home. Not tired. get on AIM.
Saturday:
1:00 am - sign off AIM. Go to bed.
4:00 am - wake up, kind of fall asleep. ish.
6:00 am - wake up, kind of fall asleep. ish.
8:00 am - wake up, give up on trying to fall asleep again.
8:30 am - Shower. get a call from Scott. "Come in to your wind ensemble audition as soon as possible". Warm up a bit. Spazz.
10:00 am - Audition. Go out to breakfast with mom. Wait around Office Max FOREVER for the stupid programs to be done. Go to Lisa Marshiks place only to find that the stupid auction baskets have already been loaded and are on the way to the school, even though she could have told us on the phone a couple minutes before.
12:20 pm - arrive at school. Dick around a bit. Place pencils next to auction sign up sheets. pour cocktail sauce into little cups.
2:30 pm - freak out about a missing table.
3:45 pm - do my makeup, find that my shirt is extremely revealing and my zipper on my pants broke. go on a mission to find a safety pin for my pants and an undershirt. don't find them. freak out.
4:00 pm - people get there. steal an undershirt off max's body.
6:00 pm - serve my table. fuck ,I'm getting tired.
8:00 pm - people are starting to tell me I look stoned. Max laughs at me whenever he walks past. I'm clearly very tired. Still serving my table.
8:45 pm - Take a small break. Find that Caitlyn split my tip jar. I spent all fucking day at that damn school and I make 11 dollars. Drink my 8th diet coke of the day.
9:00 pm - can't take it anymore. Caffeine hasn't even kicked in. Falling asleep on my mothers shoulder. insist I come home.
9:15 pm - caffeine kicks in. I'm no longer tired.
11:26 pm - still. not. fucking. tired.
still saving up for my iPod that fucking got stolen.
Friday:
4:00 pm - leave Shelbys duct tape club party to set up for the crab feed.
4:15 pm - lift heavy boxes and wheel them from the bandroom to the cafeteria.
6:00 pm - help Benjamin tape the lighthouse to the poles. mount lights.
9:00 pm - go out to dinner with Jacque, Jordan, Connor, Misti, Kerry, and Cindi.
10:30 pm - get home. Not tired. get on AIM.
Saturday:
1:00 am - sign off AIM. Go to bed.
4:00 am - wake up, kind of fall asleep. ish.
6:00 am - wake up, kind of fall asleep. ish.
8:00 am - wake up, give up on trying to fall asleep again.
8:30 am - Shower. get a call from Scott. "Come in to your wind ensemble audition as soon as possible". Warm up a bit. Spazz.
10:00 am - Audition. Go out to breakfast with mom. Wait around Office Max FOREVER for the stupid programs to be done. Go to Lisa Marshiks place only to find that the stupid auction baskets have already been loaded and are on the way to the school, even though she could have told us on the phone a couple minutes before.
12:20 pm - arrive at school. Dick around a bit. Place pencils next to auction sign up sheets. pour cocktail sauce into little cups.
2:30 pm - freak out about a missing table.
3:45 pm - do my makeup, find that my shirt is extremely revealing and my zipper on my pants broke. go on a mission to find a safety pin for my pants and an undershirt. don't find them. freak out.
4:00 pm - people get there. steal an undershirt off max's body.
6:00 pm - serve my table. fuck ,I'm getting tired.
8:00 pm - people are starting to tell me I look stoned. Max laughs at me whenever he walks past. I'm clearly very tired. Still serving my table.
8:45 pm - Take a small break. Find that Caitlyn split my tip jar. I spent all fucking day at that damn school and I make 11 dollars. Drink my 8th diet coke of the day.
9:00 pm - can't take it anymore. Caffeine hasn't even kicked in. Falling asleep on my mothers shoulder. insist I come home.
9:15 pm - caffeine kicks in. I'm no longer tired.
11:26 pm - still. not. fucking. tired.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
PX625A
Los examenes fue muy facil. I think I did pretty good at english, I really didn't need to know much about TKMB anyways. Spanish had 140 questions. To quote a friend of mine, "gag me with a spoon." (to be honest, I think the last time she said that religiously was a year and a half ago, but it stuck with me). Biology was a pain in the ass to do at 7:15 in the morning, but it's okay. I wish I knew how aeries worked so I could check my grade, because apparently, they're already up. Algebra only had 34 or so questions. Gosh. Geography was very easy because it was open notebook. Band had no finals. PE, I presented lacrosse to our class. we got 20/25 because we went over our time limit by 52 seconds, but that's only because we really knew our shit. I lost my ipod when I got back from that presentation. I was stupid enough to not lock it in the PE office. I really hope it shows up. My mother will be extremely upset with me, becuse she got it for my birthday and I lost it on my 5th day of ownership. GOSH. (I do believe it was stolen, though.)
In other news, I watched brokeback mountain for the first time this morning. I didn't start from the beginning, because it was on TV, but if I had, I probably would have been more upset in the end than I was. It was a good movie, but people talk so slow in Texas. =[ and you know, for a movie about gay cowboys, there were an awful lot of boobs in it.
Yesterday at winter percussion I ran into two tables, Connors drum, Doug (numerous tims), and this girl Hilary. I felt really stupid, because it was all within the span of two hours. I almost threw up on our run, and I felt extra dumb because I was the last to get back. I feel useless on those runs because I'm so damn slow. I'm getting better at drumming though, and I basically have both songs memorized thus far. I just have to practice the very end of F so I really have it engrained. We got drill yesterday, which is the marching bit. It's pretty cheesy at the beginning, but it's sort of cool ish I suppose. Once we start marching, though, it gets good. there's so many things to remember. I have to be flat at the front during the buzzes, and then gonig back, I have to be...not flat. and start on my left, which always throws me off. Then I can't square off edges and I have to lift my right leg in a count and lunge in the next. And I have to stop running into doug.
After winter percussion, the family came over for a birthday dinner. not much to say about that. It was our family getting together. Some awkwardness, smidgens of drama, and mature or immature jokes. (My stepmom said "that's what she said" and my uncle and I had a giggle fit for at least three minutes.)
I need a battery for my camera, and film.
In other news, I watched brokeback mountain for the first time this morning. I didn't start from the beginning, because it was on TV, but if I had, I probably would have been more upset in the end than I was. It was a good movie, but people talk so slow in Texas. =[ and you know, for a movie about gay cowboys, there were an awful lot of boobs in it.
Yesterday at winter percussion I ran into two tables, Connors drum, Doug (numerous tims), and this girl Hilary. I felt really stupid, because it was all within the span of two hours. I almost threw up on our run, and I felt extra dumb because I was the last to get back. I feel useless on those runs because I'm so damn slow. I'm getting better at drumming though, and I basically have both songs memorized thus far. I just have to practice the very end of F so I really have it engrained. We got drill yesterday, which is the marching bit. It's pretty cheesy at the beginning, but it's sort of cool ish I suppose. Once we start marching, though, it gets good. there's so many things to remember. I have to be flat at the front during the buzzes, and then gonig back, I have to be...not flat. and start on my left, which always throws me off. Then I can't square off edges and I have to lift my right leg in a count and lunge in the next. And I have to stop running into doug.
After winter percussion, the family came over for a birthday dinner. not much to say about that. It was our family getting together. Some awkwardness, smidgens of drama, and mature or immature jokes. (My stepmom said "that's what she said" and my uncle and I had a giggle fit for at least three minutes.)
I need a battery for my camera, and film.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Lerh.
I have so much to blog about, and no way to say it, I suppose.
Just another unbloggable. that sucks.
I wrote another chapter, making three.
My single fan seems to enjoy it.
I put more music on my ipod, which makes 216 songs, two videos, and a TV episode.
I totally blew my 50 bucks.
50 bucks well spent, I'd say.
I have to get a shot tomorrow and I have my english final first thing.
I'm very concerned, I took nothing away from To Kill A Mockingbird.
People say it's a lifechanging book, but I got nothing out of it.
It was okay, but nothing big.
Kudos to Harper Lee though.
If I had to write about a boring racist town, I'd go insane.
She should be proud she pulled it off.
But my spanish final tomorrow should be superduper easy.
I want to go on a proper date and I don't care with who.
Just another unbloggable. that sucks.
I wrote another chapter, making three.
My single fan seems to enjoy it.
I put more music on my ipod, which makes 216 songs, two videos, and a TV episode.
I totally blew my 50 bucks.
50 bucks well spent, I'd say.
I have to get a shot tomorrow and I have my english final first thing.
I'm very concerned, I took nothing away from To Kill A Mockingbird.
People say it's a lifechanging book, but I got nothing out of it.
It was okay, but nothing big.
Kudos to Harper Lee though.
If I had to write about a boring racist town, I'd go insane.
She should be proud she pulled it off.
But my spanish final tomorrow should be superduper easy.
I want to go on a proper date and I don't care with who.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
dexter.
So I had a good day, right?
And I was thinking "I'm going to sleep naked tonight" because I do that when I'm in a good mood. That's a lie, I just lied to you. I do that very rarely. and by that I mean sleeping naked. Actually, when I think about it, I lie very rarely too. If I ever told you I sleep naked all the time, it was probably a lie. That would be one of the rare times I lie.
So anyways. I was having a good day and whatnot. but then I remembered we have finals next week. And I have to shave my legs. And study for biology and english. Not fun. Not fun not fun NOT FUN.
In other news, my mom got me an iPod. So now, FINALLY, the biggest part of my life (music) can come around with me everywhere. I swear, it killed me inside when I couldn't have my music. Because good gosh, it's all I do, you know? anyways, I took all the CDs I have here at my moms and uploaded them all and bought some stuff, so I kept busy today. my day was actually really darn busy. It shocked me.
I woke up and my door was wide open. There was a walkie talkie next to my face and my clock was unplugged. the DVD player thing was gone (I was watching Blades Of Glory in the wee hours of the morning). i assume that my brother came in, unplugged the DVD player and accidentally unplugged the clock with it. He then stuck a walkie talking next to my face so it made noises at me to wake me. He then scampered out of the room to go watch The Pink Panther or something. It would not shock me if that's exactly what happened. I checked my phone. It was around 10. I got up and had breakfast. Yawn. Shower. Check e-mail. Then my mother took Jonah and I to the farmers market, leaving Noah to watch cartoons in his underwear. We return bearing pizza hut for noah, veggies, and a baguette for dinner. Noah eats. Mother takes Noah and I to Old Navy for jeans. I emerged with two pairs of jeans, three pairs of boxer briefs, and three pairs of valentine themed boxers. Yum. We come home. Mom makes me babysit Jonah while she gets Noah a haircut. I busy myself buying shit from iTunes. This is basically it.
I'm really digging Chanson Des Chats right now. I wish I had more of a life.
And I was thinking "I'm going to sleep naked tonight" because I do that when I'm in a good mood. That's a lie, I just lied to you. I do that very rarely. and by that I mean sleeping naked. Actually, when I think about it, I lie very rarely too. If I ever told you I sleep naked all the time, it was probably a lie. That would be one of the rare times I lie.
So anyways. I was having a good day and whatnot. but then I remembered we have finals next week. And I have to shave my legs. And study for biology and english. Not fun. Not fun not fun NOT FUN.
In other news, my mom got me an iPod. So now, FINALLY, the biggest part of my life (music) can come around with me everywhere. I swear, it killed me inside when I couldn't have my music. Because good gosh, it's all I do, you know? anyways, I took all the CDs I have here at my moms and uploaded them all and bought some stuff, so I kept busy today. my day was actually really darn busy. It shocked me.
I woke up and my door was wide open. There was a walkie talkie next to my face and my clock was unplugged. the DVD player thing was gone (I was watching Blades Of Glory in the wee hours of the morning). i assume that my brother came in, unplugged the DVD player and accidentally unplugged the clock with it. He then stuck a walkie talking next to my face so it made noises at me to wake me. He then scampered out of the room to go watch The Pink Panther or something. It would not shock me if that's exactly what happened. I checked my phone. It was around 10. I got up and had breakfast. Yawn. Shower. Check e-mail. Then my mother took Jonah and I to the farmers market, leaving Noah to watch cartoons in his underwear. We return bearing pizza hut for noah, veggies, and a baguette for dinner. Noah eats. Mother takes Noah and I to Old Navy for jeans. I emerged with two pairs of jeans, three pairs of boxer briefs, and three pairs of valentine themed boxers. Yum. We come home. Mom makes me babysit Jonah while she gets Noah a haircut. I busy myself buying shit from iTunes. This is basically it.
I'm really digging Chanson Des Chats right now. I wish I had more of a life.
Friday, January 18, 2008
McGuesstimations.
First off, thank you everyone for all the happy birthdays and hugs and chocolates and songs and wishes. It was really great. I thought my birthday would suck but it totally didn't. It was oodles of fun, man. I'm not going to lie and say I don't have time respond to all the birthday comments, because I do. I have LOTS of time. It's patience I'm lacking. So I'm thanking you here. Thank you!
Also, I realized that there are some things that you just can't blog about. And let me tell you, it's devastating to have something running around in my head, kicking me in the brain, and knowing I won't be able to blog about it. If I could, blogging would be the professional boxer in my brain that knocks out the stupid thing running around kicknig me in the brain previously mentioned. Maybe a better analogy would be those mucinex commercials. Annoying thing you can't blog about: Snot guy who throws football parties and complains about gettng kicked out ("Mucinex, you've ruined my beauty sleep!"). Blogging: Mucinex. Do you UNDERSTAND the CONFLICT? I sure do.
In other news, tonight I tried those nine steps to overcome stress that I posted in my last blog. I got through steps one and two easy. I knew I was stressaed. Whoo. I can check that one off my list. Step two, stopping what I'm doing. I wasn't really doing anything anyways. Shizzam. Step three, relaxing and calming down. I took five deep breaths and decided to take a scalding hot shower. However, my shower was only scalding for about five minutes, because my brother was giving his stupid trombone a bath in the other room. I don't understand. Trombones don't even need hot water to shower. So after the water stopped being scalding, it started being freezing. So I had to rush. I may or may not still have my delicious conditioner in my hair. Well, relaxing and calming down obviously didn't work. I tried taking more deep breaths but it was too cold. So I decided to save my destressing for another day. Honestly, I don't even think it can wait. It's waited way too long enough. =[
And Andrew didn't even end up baking me cookies yesterday. My first day of being 15 was SO lame. Recapping in chronological order.
1. Torie says she needs my opinion. I thought was something important so I waited for her. It was about shoes.
2. Mrs. Smiley was in a bad mood. But I guess it was okay because no matter what mood she's in she seems to like me. We found out we're going to Patel next semester. People don't like Patel.
3. Mr. Reichert was...Mr. Reichert. I guess it wasn't so bad. Mai called me a "wor" because that's how she thought "W H O R E" was pronounced. bless her little asian soul. She was only joking about the whore thing, we were playing telephone. I am NOT a whore.
4. I met my new algebra teacher. She seems nice, but she's absolutely nothing in comparison to Mr. Hernandez. It ticks me off that he's leaving us.
5. torie said she needed to talk to me about something very important. She didn't. She just wanted to get away from someone else.
6. Mr. Cruz was being Mr. Cruz. Davy really is officially kicked out of our class. I got points taken away because the girl behind me stuck postits on her face and Kate asked me for help. Charlie got moved across the room. I am devastated.
7. i was supposed to take my biology final today. Since I decided not to, I now have to show up on Thursday morning at 7:15 to take a test on my worst subject. After that, I head straight to Algebra and take a stupid algebra final. My second worst subject. THEN I have to present Lacrosse to my stupid PE class.
8. UN-BLOG-ABLE. See second paragraph. you know, unless you don't want to.
9. Grandma takes us all out to dinner then forces me and Noah to go into safeway and get her cherry tomatoes and milk. I was very nearly raped. That safeway is a tough crowd.
10. see third paragraph about trying to relax but taking a really cold shower instead.
11. I broke down the block of writing. Writers block, haha. I wrote six more paragraphs to my story. It's coming along nicely, I suppose.
So that's basically it.
P.S. I still have cuts from eight days ago.
Also, I realized that there are some things that you just can't blog about. And let me tell you, it's devastating to have something running around in my head, kicking me in the brain, and knowing I won't be able to blog about it. If I could, blogging would be the professional boxer in my brain that knocks out the stupid thing running around kicknig me in the brain previously mentioned. Maybe a better analogy would be those mucinex commercials. Annoying thing you can't blog about: Snot guy who throws football parties and complains about gettng kicked out ("Mucinex, you've ruined my beauty sleep!"). Blogging: Mucinex. Do you UNDERSTAND the CONFLICT? I sure do.
In other news, tonight I tried those nine steps to overcome stress that I posted in my last blog. I got through steps one and two easy. I knew I was stressaed. Whoo. I can check that one off my list. Step two, stopping what I'm doing. I wasn't really doing anything anyways. Shizzam. Step three, relaxing and calming down. I took five deep breaths and decided to take a scalding hot shower. However, my shower was only scalding for about five minutes, because my brother was giving his stupid trombone a bath in the other room. I don't understand. Trombones don't even need hot water to shower. So after the water stopped being scalding, it started being freezing. So I had to rush. I may or may not still have my delicious conditioner in my hair. Well, relaxing and calming down obviously didn't work. I tried taking more deep breaths but it was too cold. So I decided to save my destressing for another day. Honestly, I don't even think it can wait. It's waited way too long enough. =[
And Andrew didn't even end up baking me cookies yesterday. My first day of being 15 was SO lame. Recapping in chronological order.
1. Torie says she needs my opinion. I thought was something important so I waited for her. It was about shoes.
2. Mrs. Smiley was in a bad mood. But I guess it was okay because no matter what mood she's in she seems to like me. We found out we're going to Patel next semester. People don't like Patel.
3. Mr. Reichert was...Mr. Reichert. I guess it wasn't so bad. Mai called me a "wor" because that's how she thought "W H O R E" was pronounced. bless her little asian soul. She was only joking about the whore thing, we were playing telephone. I am NOT a whore.
4. I met my new algebra teacher. She seems nice, but she's absolutely nothing in comparison to Mr. Hernandez. It ticks me off that he's leaving us.
5. torie said she needed to talk to me about something very important. She didn't. She just wanted to get away from someone else.
6. Mr. Cruz was being Mr. Cruz. Davy really is officially kicked out of our class. I got points taken away because the girl behind me stuck postits on her face and Kate asked me for help. Charlie got moved across the room. I am devastated.
7. i was supposed to take my biology final today. Since I decided not to, I now have to show up on Thursday morning at 7:15 to take a test on my worst subject. After that, I head straight to Algebra and take a stupid algebra final. My second worst subject. THEN I have to present Lacrosse to my stupid PE class.
8. UN-BLOG-ABLE. See second paragraph. you know, unless you don't want to.
9. Grandma takes us all out to dinner then forces me and Noah to go into safeway and get her cherry tomatoes and milk. I was very nearly raped. That safeway is a tough crowd.
10. see third paragraph about trying to relax but taking a really cold shower instead.
11. I broke down the block of writing. Writers block, haha. I wrote six more paragraphs to my story. It's coming along nicely, I suppose.
So that's basically it.
P.S. I still have cuts from eight days ago.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
stress levels.
I attended a stress seminar tonight. mostly against my will, but it actually really helped.
The nine steps of dealing with stress:
1. Acknowledge that you're stressed.
2. Stop what you're doing.
3. Calm down.
4. Think about your goal. "What do I want to happen in this situation?"
5. Ask "can I make that happen?"
6. List options for reaching said goal
7. Analyze options. Choose best one.
8. Take action.
9. Congratulate yourself.
In other news, Andrews baking me verona cookies and getting me a light up necklace for my birthday thursday.
yay!
=]
The nine steps of dealing with stress:
1. Acknowledge that you're stressed.
2. Stop what you're doing.
3. Calm down.
4. Think about your goal. "What do I want to happen in this situation?"
5. Ask "can I make that happen?"
6. List options for reaching said goal
7. Analyze options. Choose best one.
8. Take action.
9. Congratulate yourself.
In other news, Andrews baking me verona cookies and getting me a light up necklace for my birthday thursday.
yay!
=]
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The only way.
I thought the only way to explain ANYTHING right now was to sample brian again.
but then I realized that required far too much brainpower, and I can hardly spell required right now anyways. In fact, if I tried to make it through this post without hitting backspace, you probably wouldn't be able to understand a word of it. And you know what? being delirious as I am right now, I'm cracking up like mad at how awful I'm spelling everything. It's those laughs where you try to not do it but then you hurt your abs trying to contain it. so you snort and buckle over. or maybe thats just me.
well, all I wanted to say was to please stop making me grin uncontrollably because I'm far to busy and tired and even though it's just me here and you can't see through the computer, I'm sill super embarrassed because I'm smiling so hard. And you remind me of me and I don't remember the last time I did something like this except maybe those winter days over two years ago except the difference is that I ended up with a pretty broken heart after that and I was typing a little better and I wasn't listening to the same music and I'd probably be on the phone too, smiling without a reason, but there really is a reason and it's because I was completely in love, but now I don't think I can really be in love, I just think you're really cool and you made me smile a lot.
P.S. Fuck Punctuation.
but then I realized that required far too much brainpower, and I can hardly spell required right now anyways. In fact, if I tried to make it through this post without hitting backspace, you probably wouldn't be able to understand a word of it. And you know what? being delirious as I am right now, I'm cracking up like mad at how awful I'm spelling everything. It's those laughs where you try to not do it but then you hurt your abs trying to contain it. so you snort and buckle over. or maybe thats just me.
well, all I wanted to say was to please stop making me grin uncontrollably because I'm far to busy and tired and even though it's just me here and you can't see through the computer, I'm sill super embarrassed because I'm smiling so hard. And you remind me of me and I don't remember the last time I did something like this except maybe those winter days over two years ago except the difference is that I ended up with a pretty broken heart after that and I was typing a little better and I wasn't listening to the same music and I'd probably be on the phone too, smiling without a reason, but there really is a reason and it's because I was completely in love, but now I don't think I can really be in love, I just think you're really cool and you made me smile a lot.
P.S. Fuck Punctuation.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Busybusybusy.
So me and torie wrote a song today!
And it's really cool. Really Really cool. Except it was a beezy to get on myspace, no joke. I had to ask a million people how to convert the files 'n shit. And I downloaded iTunes (finally I had an excuse) and it took forever but it's finally on myspace.
I'm totally convinced I have a lisp. Honestly. Everyone tells me I don't but I always hear a darn lisp. And stuffiness. Oh well.
I got my books today. I ordered them on new years. They took forever. =[ But now they're here so I'm happy. Sure they're ugly, but used books are cheaper and i wanted to get a bunch of okay books then like two new ones.
I figured out how to make my week go by faster today. I just look forward to whatever I'm doing that night.
Monday: Winter percussion, Mediums on TV
Tuesday: Hebrew High
Wednesday: Winter percusssion
Thursday: DeFrank movie night
Friday: Whatever I want.
so see? It's perfect!
My back is all glittery from torie spraying my backpack with peppermint glitter spray. AUGH.
Oh yeah, and if you leave an anonymous comment on my blogs, I appreciate it, but do you think you could say "-Insert Name Here" after the comment? I'd like to thank you personally, and it's cool to know who reads my blog. :]
And it's really cool. Really Really cool. Except it was a beezy to get on myspace, no joke. I had to ask a million people how to convert the files 'n shit. And I downloaded iTunes (finally I had an excuse) and it took forever but it's finally on myspace.
I'm totally convinced I have a lisp. Honestly. Everyone tells me I don't but I always hear a darn lisp. And stuffiness. Oh well.
I got my books today. I ordered them on new years. They took forever. =[ But now they're here so I'm happy. Sure they're ugly, but used books are cheaper and i wanted to get a bunch of okay books then like two new ones.
I figured out how to make my week go by faster today. I just look forward to whatever I'm doing that night.
Monday: Winter percussion, Mediums on TV
Tuesday: Hebrew High
Wednesday: Winter percusssion
Thursday: DeFrank movie night
Friday: Whatever I want.
so see? It's perfect!
My back is all glittery from torie spraying my backpack with peppermint glitter spray. AUGH.
Oh yeah, and if you leave an anonymous comment on my blogs, I appreciate it, but do you think you could say "-Insert Name Here" after the comment? I'd like to thank you personally, and it's cool to know who reads my blog. :]
Monday, January 7, 2008
surveys.
I'm a genius. It's not actually me who's the genius, its someone I don't know.
Basically, I figured out that a good way to develop my characters is to fill out surveys....but using their personalities instead of mine!
so yeah, I found a survey specifically meant for characters on deviantart. I'm not going to tag though because I don't know anyone on deviantart. awww.
1. choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. make them answer the following questions.
3. then tag three people.
4. feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself!!
how old are you?
Linden: 16
Molly: 16
Keith: 25
what's your height?
Linden: 5'2
Molly: 5'7
Keith: 6'
are you a virgin?
Linden: Uh. Haha. No.
Molly: Uhmm, I really kind of don't want to say...
Keith: Not since 4th grade BIATCH.
who's your mate/spouse?
Linden: Natalie Portman and Molly. They have to share. :D
Molly: Linden
Keith: Available. Come pounce me, chicks.
do you have any kids?
Linden: Do turtles count?
Molly: I don't really think that's ever going to happen.
Keith: I have at least 94 or some shit.
what's your favourite food?
Linden: I basically live off of cheeseburgers.
Molly: Carrots. Ha.
Keith: beer.
what's your favourite ice cream flavor?
Linden: If there was an ice cream called Molly...
Molly: Strawberry. Mmmm.
Keith: I don't like cold shit.
have you killed anyone?
Linden: Killed a fish once. Total accident.
Molly: Nope
Keith: It's on my to do list.
do you hate anyone?
Linden: Nahh hates a really strong word, y'know?
Molly: My mother.
Keith: Government.
have any secrets?
Linden: I used to let boys touch me because I couldn't get any chicks. Shhh.
Molly: Secrets are secrets.
Keith: I cheated on my girlfriend with her sister in high school.
do you love anyone?
Linden: Yeah, I guess I'm a sucker for Molly.
Molly: Lindens my number one.
Keith: Me. Durr. But my sisters pretty cool too.
what is your job?
Linden: I got fired from Starbucks last week.
Molly: I work at a preschool.
Keith: I'm a pimp. At a guitar shop...
boy or girl?
Linden: girl
Molly: girl
Keith: MAN.
what do you do to relax?
Linden: Sleep with Molly.
Molly: Sleep with Linden.
Keith: Beer.
favourite band?
Linden: Mirah
Molly: Kimya Dawson
Keith: The Velvet Underground
In other news, today sucked. I was bored out of my mind all day and I have oodles of leftover homework to do. But now I know my characters a little better.
Basically, I figured out that a good way to develop my characters is to fill out surveys....but using their personalities instead of mine!
so yeah, I found a survey specifically meant for characters on deviantart. I'm not going to tag though because I don't know anyone on deviantart. awww.
1. choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. make them answer the following questions.
3. then tag three people.
4. feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself!!
how old are you?
Linden: 16
Molly: 16
Keith: 25
what's your height?
Linden: 5'2
Molly: 5'7
Keith: 6'
are you a virgin?
Linden: Uh. Haha. No.
Molly: Uhmm, I really kind of don't want to say...
Keith: Not since 4th grade BIATCH.
who's your mate/spouse?
Linden: Natalie Portman and Molly. They have to share. :D
Molly: Linden
Keith: Available. Come pounce me, chicks.
do you have any kids?
Linden: Do turtles count?
Molly: I don't really think that's ever going to happen.
Keith: I have at least 94 or some shit.
what's your favourite food?
Linden: I basically live off of cheeseburgers.
Molly: Carrots. Ha.
Keith: beer.
what's your favourite ice cream flavor?
Linden: If there was an ice cream called Molly...
Molly: Strawberry. Mmmm.
Keith: I don't like cold shit.
have you killed anyone?
Linden: Killed a fish once. Total accident.
Molly: Nope
Keith: It's on my to do list.
do you hate anyone?
Linden: Nahh hates a really strong word, y'know?
Molly: My mother.
Keith: Government.
have any secrets?
Linden: I used to let boys touch me because I couldn't get any chicks. Shhh.
Molly: Secrets are secrets.
Keith: I cheated on my girlfriend with her sister in high school.
do you love anyone?
Linden: Yeah, I guess I'm a sucker for Molly.
Molly: Lindens my number one.
Keith: Me. Durr. But my sisters pretty cool too.
what is your job?
Linden: I got fired from Starbucks last week.
Molly: I work at a preschool.
Keith: I'm a pimp. At a guitar shop...
boy or girl?
Linden: girl
Molly: girl
Keith: MAN.
what do you do to relax?
Linden: Sleep with Molly.
Molly: Sleep with Linden.
Keith: Beer.
favourite band?
Linden: Mirah
Molly: Kimya Dawson
Keith: The Velvet Underground
In other news, today sucked. I was bored out of my mind all day and I have oodles of leftover homework to do. But now I know my characters a little better.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
sweet.
my names was the name of the day today on behindthename.com
LEAH f English, Jewish, Biblical
From the Hebrew name לֵאָה (Le'ah) which was probably derived from the Hebrew word לְאָה (le'ah) meaning "weary". Alternatively it might derive from a Chaldean name meaning "mistress" or "ruler" in Assyrian. In the Old Testament she was the first wife of Jacob and the mother of seven of his children.
totally cool.
LEAH f English, Jewish, Biblical
From the Hebrew name לֵאָה (Le'ah) which was probably derived from the Hebrew word לְאָה (le'ah) meaning "weary". Alternatively it might derive from a Chaldean name meaning "mistress" or "ruler" in Assyrian. In the Old Testament she was the first wife of Jacob and the mother of seven of his children.
totally cool.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
summer storm
This is mainly for the sake of having a post that says 2008 on it.
Alright, so I spent the night at my friends place last night. I think I forgot how stupid I can be. I was trying to spell enough outloud to her and I said "enougf". Yikes. WEll other than that, it was a fun night, because we had winter percussion practice beforehand and we learned a new excersize that night. I have it down, now, yay!
Today I woke up, had breakfast, did Kikis makeup, and then my dad came to pick me up. We went to lunch and then went home. I played some game with my brother and then started to feel miserably sick, which sucked, because I had been planning to go to the defrank center for over a week, and tonight was the night, and DAMN, I was sick. I almost didn't go, which would have sucked. But I ended up going and I felt better. It was movie night and we saw this movie Summer Storm. It's in German and its about this rowing team who goes to a rowing camp, and they meet this other team made up of all gay peoplem, and this guy tobi realizes he's in love with his best friend from the team, but he has a girlfriend, and tobi has this chick really into him and he does this guy on the gay team lalala. But it's a really freaking good movie, in my opinion. Cinematography-wise, too.
So yeah. Going to the defrank (finally) was cool. Thumbs up. Being sick was not. Thumbs down.
Plus my cat threw up that tinsel stuff from our tree.
Alright, so I spent the night at my friends place last night. I think I forgot how stupid I can be. I was trying to spell enough outloud to her and I said "enougf". Yikes. WEll other than that, it was a fun night, because we had winter percussion practice beforehand and we learned a new excersize that night. I have it down, now, yay!
Today I woke up, had breakfast, did Kikis makeup, and then my dad came to pick me up. We went to lunch and then went home. I played some game with my brother and then started to feel miserably sick, which sucked, because I had been planning to go to the defrank center for over a week, and tonight was the night, and DAMN, I was sick. I almost didn't go, which would have sucked. But I ended up going and I felt better. It was movie night and we saw this movie Summer Storm. It's in German and its about this rowing team who goes to a rowing camp, and they meet this other team made up of all gay peoplem, and this guy tobi realizes he's in love with his best friend from the team, but he has a girlfriend, and tobi has this chick really into him and he does this guy on the gay team lalala. But it's a really freaking good movie, in my opinion. Cinematography-wise, too.
So yeah. Going to the defrank (finally) was cool. Thumbs up. Being sick was not. Thumbs down.
Plus my cat threw up that tinsel stuff from our tree.
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